Hi David

I just wanted to reply to you as I'm going through the same with my wonderful dad who is 68.

He always worked so hard, finally retired 2 years ago and started feeling bloated. After scans he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer having already fought off bladder cancer a few years before.

The transition has been immense. He has coped so well and never complained. That's my dad all over. He was admitted into a hospice this week and we are losing him. He's so thin and not talking eating or drinking. It breaks my heart. My son is 5 so I try to think that my dad lives on through us but I cry every day and dread the call to say he's no longer here. I never knew it would be this hard but I'm so incredibly overwhelmed with grief.

I hope you're doing ok and finding the strength to carry on. It's good to know we are not alone and letting your emotions out are the best thing you can do.

X

Hi David I am also 36 and my mum died in July from cancer she was 58 and had been diagnosed in June. My dad died when he was 51, 12 years ago. Sadly I also lost my father in law in 2008 to cancer, our first daughter was 9 months when he died. I wanted to say to you and anyone else that I believe it does get better. It's hard to believe it but life changes and it's not the future you wanted or imagined but it doesn't mean it will be bad or sad, just different. I have never 'got over' my dads death but I have become used to missing him and I can say I was really happy again. This was brought home when mum was diagnosed. I read that you can have 'anticipation grief' which I was doing. You are crying for what you know you'll miss, but I realised that this was wasting the time we had. I don't want to give false hope but prognosis can be wrong - my mum was told she was incurable 'but not near the terminal stages' yet died 3 days later. My aunt was given 2 months yet lived well for 12. Please try to stay upbeat and savour the time you have. When your dad leaves this world it will probably Be the most awful, devastating, painful, heart breaking experience you go though but not insurmountable. My mum used to say when I was troubled 'the only way out of it is through it' a d she is right. Day by day it will get easier. I hope my rambles provide some comfort. Best wishes and hugs Cx

Hi devonmarc. Dad in hospital with no appetite already. Its horrendous but your words have helped me find some unexpected strength. Thank you. I hope you are starting to find some days a little easier. 

Brutal. Really hope you find some peace.

Thank you for sharing that C. It is strangely comforting to hear someone admit to having felt the same horrible emotions i am feeling currently.  I extend that sincere thanks to bezza, laura and all posters on this thread. Taking the time to help me deal with this whilst dealing with your own pain has blown me away. Sending positive thoughts to you all x.

David