I'm only 20 years old and my father is dying from pancreatic cancer. He seemed fine or at least coping for the last 2 years and now suddenly he's really ill. His body isn't functioning and he hasn't eaten for days.
The doctors haven't given him long left, and they want to put him in a hospice.
I'm terrified. I don't want him to die, I love him so much and I feel so alone. I detest myself so much, I wish I was a better daughter to him. I don't know how to deal with what's happening around me, I keep burying my head in the sand. If I think about it I just end up wanting to tear myself to shreds. I even feel bitter towards my friends because I know they will have their fathers for another 30 years and I will be alone. I'm so scared.