Hi Sammie,

I am so sorry for your loss.

My dad died in March after a year battle with lung cancer. I'm only a couple of years older than you and it's so hard to come to terms with your loved one and role model not being there.

I have similar experiences with my dreams. I dream about him and when I realise I'm dreaming I just keep telling him it's not fair, and he comforts me. But when you wake up its like you've lost them again :(

I know everyone says it and it is hard to believe but you learn to miss them without it hurting as badly as it no doubt does right now. My dreams have become less frequent recently, my flashbacks have reduced too, as well as my panic attacks. I still will have a good couple of weeks, then maybe a bad few days etc, but then back to a good couple of weeks again.

If it helps, here's some advice of what I've learned/experienced dealing with the grief.

Like you I saw the doctor, he prescribed medication which didn't work out for me personally. But I would encourage you to check in with your doctor every now and again. They recommended for me to go back and see them every few weeks, and now I'm getting a bit extra support for my panic attacks etc.

I have been seeing a counsellor, and like you say it can be very helpful to talk to someone who is more impartial. I contacted Cruse and they were lovely and I am near the end of my 6 sessions now. It's good to talk to someone without worrying if you're going to upset anyone, who can help you maybe see things in a different perspective and allows you to just get all the things your thinking out of your head. I know everyone is different, but my experience with them has been very positive :)

The biggest thing is just to take everything in your own time. If you need time to yourself then take it. Taking time to look after yourself is precious at the moment. Try not to shut yourself from those who love you though, they will appreciate that you might want time alone, but they want to be there to support you when you need it :)

I hope this helps in some way. Again, I am so sorry for your loss.

Please take care :)

Jeni

Thank you it helps to know I am not the only one going through this.

Hi Sammie,

You really are not alone with all this.

My Mum passed away a few weeks back, after just a 3 week battle with lung, liver, and bone cancer.

Like you, my moods are all over the place.

But do you know what I hate the most?  Taking it all out on people who just ant to comfort me...  I feel so guilty for it.

I'm really sorry about your Mum.

I'm not going to try and offer any advice, because I'm in the same place as you, and I'm struggling to.

But what I will say, is try to eat properly.

I didn't eat for days, and I felt so much worse. 

Take care ok?