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My dad's dying and I'm not coping

Danny123
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Hi there my dad's been fighting throat cancer for the past 2 years. Twice we had been told he had the all clear and both times 6 weeks later we have then been told it's back and more aggressive. We have been told.this week he now has bone cancer and it's terminal. I'm devastated. I know it selfish but I'm only 27 and feel far too young to be losing my 46 yr old.dad.. I'm strong when around people and feel like it's up to me to ensure everyone is OK and coping but when I'm on my own I'm a mess...I feel like I have so many unanswered questions. We don't know how long he has left and it's breaking my heart that my once strong fit healthy dad is a shadow of his former self. I just can't imagine my future without him in it he's my rock x

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    Hi I'm so sorry to hear of your poor dad, yes at at such a young age. I feel his pain and yours. My dad died 3 weeks ago from pancreatic cancer which he only found out he had 3 weeks earlier after being unwell for a few weeks. We are all in shock still. He couldn't accept it and died suffering as he wouldn't have pain relief, he was angry and didn't really want us round. It's so hard seeing someone you love dying and knowing they don't want to die is heartbreaking. Give him lots of love and talk about happy memories. Your not being selfish and I still have unanswered questions so we all feel like that. You also need someone you can talk, cry and let your feelings out to as its not good to hold it in. I hope you get as long as possible with your dad which I didn't with mine. Sending you hugs xx

  • Offline in reply to Patricia123

    I am so sorry to hear about your dad.  I lost my dad back in May after a very short 2 1/2 week battle with pancreatic cancer.  He was fit and well until going on holiday, from there he had a blood clot which quickly was diagnosed as the cause being pancreatic, he died 2 weeks later.  I feel your pain, how can such a strong person change and this horrible disease just take over.  I have so many questions the main one being 'why us' but then I ask myself why anyone... Spend every second you can with your dad, tell him everything you want too, I have peace knowing there were no unsaid words my dad knew exactly how loved he was and although not given the chance he would have fought if he could.  Keep strong as a family, it's times like now you need each other more than you would ever realise. xx 

  • Offline in reply to rachel559

    Thank you for your reply and again I'm so sorry for the loss of dad. Hopefully we will get the answers we are looking for and I will enjoy every day I have left with him. I have a wonderful husband who is doing an amazing job of looking after me and my mum.. thank kyou again for your kind words xx

  • Offline in reply to Patricia123

    Thank you for your reply. I'm sorry for your loss of your dad and I'm glad he is now at rest and free from pain. I have an amazing husband who is doing great looking after me and my mum. Although I'm a little worried for her when the time comes.. dad's all mums know since she was 16 and they have built a very strong life with each other over the last 30 years. Thanks kyou for your kind words and I will cherish every day I have with him xxx

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    Hi..im so very sorry to hear about your dad!! My dad was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer he had his treatment and was luckily ok but now he's been told he may have cancer of the kidney and like yourself iam 28 and so close to my I dont no what I would do without him as he is also my rock!! Your dad is so young and so are you which is why you need to make sure you cherish every moment!! I've lost all my grandparents and aunty and very close friend to this awful disease and I truly feel your pain sweetheart..i hope so much that they find a cure and prevent others from going through the pain of having this disease and the pain of losing they're loved ones..my heart goes out to you and your family andim sure your dad knows how much you love and care for him just make memory's with the time you have and tell him all the things you want him to no whilst you can!! I hope you find comfort in these posts..sending hugs your way xx

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