Hi, firstly I'm really sorry for your loss. I lost my dad on 24th July. He was having chemo for oesophageal cancer which we had been told although not curable ( he wasn't strong enough for the brutal surgery to remove the tumour as he also had Parkinson's) He could have a few good months left with us. However he went rapidly downhill after the second infusion of chemo. He went yellow, had a raging temperature, confusion, We were concerned it was neutropenic sepsis as he'd been warned he was at risk of this during chemo. However after the ambulance had taken him to a and e following a seizure, his partner repeatedly showed the staff his medical card clearly stating that the symptoms he was showing were that of sepsis. They disregarded this every time and said it was possibly a water infection. My dad died 24 hours later after aspirating...and on his death certificate following the post mortem? Pneumonic aspiration and neutropenic sepsis. Despite the fact this had been dismissed by many different doctors.  

I guess what I'm trying to say is, we are the untrained ones, we have little choice in these circumstances but to trust what the medically trained ones tell us. Whether or not there were any actions any of us could have take we will never know, as sadly the outcome can never be changed. So all we can do is try our best to not let the guilt eat away at us...it's not your fault,it sounds like you had done everything you could to look after your mum right up until she passed away..And that's certainly nothing to feel guilty about. Focus on what you did do for her and not on what may or may not have happened if you had acted differently, like I said, sadly it won't change anything and will just stop you moving forward in your life, and our parents would never want that for us. 

Hope this ramble makes sense. Lots of love xxx