Jacki, it won't feel like it now, but you will get through. It is so early on for you and you are in shock. It doesn't make any difference how long or short a time you had together, it is obvious frorm your posts that your love for him was deep, and that makes the parting all the harder. You just have to hang on in there, be kind to yourself, and not expect too much. Take it a day at a time or even a few hours at a time. Gradually the pain will become less intense- it never goes away completely and you can be ambushed at any time, but this does become less frequent (I am now at 2 1/2 years)

Please try not to feel guilty that you enjoyed yourself with the girls. That was one piece of advice a widowed friend gave to me when I first went out after Bob died, and it is so true. I am sure he wouldn't want to think of you being so sad, and would be pleased for you that you had some fun. It is great that you have friends that you can spend time with and I hope that you can both laugh and cry with them. Often people don't understand what you are going through if they have never been there, but on this forum you will find people who have been there are are going through the same feelings that you are now.

Hugs,  Gill x

Hi Gill

Thank you. We fell in love the first time we met. He turned and smiled at me and i knew he was my true love. Yes I am lucky to have such great friends and family. I'm finding it hard because my younger brother was diagnosed in April with stomach, lung and kidney cancer , even though he can have chemo they said it won't give him very much more of a life-span. They said a few months , the same as they told me and Jez( my hubby). I feel like I am being punished for something, it's hard enough losing my husband , but knowing i will lose my brother soon seems to make it harder. I get bad days and unbearable days, a good day is rare. I know it's early days , but i feel like it's getting worse . But I appreciate your kind words.

Jacki xx

Hi Gill

Thank you. We fell in love the first time we met. He turned and smiled at me and i knew he was my true love. Yes I am lucky to have such great friends and family. I'm finding it hard because my younger brother was diagnosed in April with stomach, lung and kidney cancer , even though he can have chemo they said it won't give him very much more of a life-span. They said a few months , the same as they told me and Jez( my hubby). I feel like I am being punished for something, it's hard enough losing my husband , but knowing i will lose my brother soon seems to make it harder. I get bad days and unbearable days, a good day is rare. I know it's early days , but i feel like it's getting worse . But I appreciate your kind words.

Jacki xx