Syliva, I am so very sorry for your loss, I know how it feels, my husband passed away in October and I miss him so much, I too wish they could let us know they are ok. There are lots of people on here going through the same terrible time who will offer support. Sending love to you Debbie xxxxxx
Hi Debbie not heard off you in a while hope your ok ,been out with my son and daughter on different ocasions over the week end, it was lovely to get out and about for a while im well aware im alwaye coming home to a empty house. regards syl
I know there will be mixed emotions when you and the family carry out your husband's wishes at the River Severn this Sunday but think it is a beautiful choice he made. A couple of coincidences in what you write as my hubby loved to fish (sea and river/lake) and was also a lover of Whiskey. I have never been a fan of either but do keep a bottle of his favourite tipple in my new kitchen (small comfort to me) and share it with his best buddy when he and his wife visit. Good memories of times spent together. Hope the sun shines for you too. Take care Jules x
Hi jules, went to the seven as planned everything went well even the weather was lovely, we all had a tot of whiskey, we even went for a walk along the pathway under the famous iron bridge , after our walk we went in one of the pubs for sunday lunch. Hope my hubby was happy with what we did ,it was one of his last wishes to have his ashes scattered on the seven. my hubby also liked canal / lake fishing, he wasnt keen on sea fishing , im sure he will be fishing and having a tot of whiskey where ever he his i hope so regards Syl x
So pleased all went well on Sunday and I think your husband would be very proud that you and the family were able to carry out his wishes. Good that the weather played ball too. The occasion sounded so peaceful and despite the emotions that it no doubt brought with it I am pleased you could celebrate his memory this way. Take care Jules xx
Hi Jules , yes the day went well it was nice to full fill his wish , dont feel to bad at the moment i talk to him all the time i have a lovely big photo of him in the bedroom which i kiss every time i go into the room, like Debbie there are some pictures of him i cant bring my self to look at yet they are the last ones we took of him i know i would cry if i saw them . take care Syl x
Hi Jules, just a quick e mail, hope your ok not been to good for a few days seem to cry for no reason, went to a memorial service at the crem where we had my husbands service it was very moving and sad hope i feel better soon regards Syl x
Its perfectly natural that you will have these days though they do seem hard to cope with when they occur. Going to the memorial service at the crem would have completely reminded you of all that your husband you and the family have been through. When they invited me to a memorial service for those who had passed I decided, along with my children, that this was not something we needed to do. It was just a couple of weeks after I had been back to the crematorium for the funeral of one of my hubby's buddies and I had not coped well at all - just was totally overwhelmed and felt as though I was starting the grieving process anew. They are difficult times.
Be kind to yourself, crying gives us some release from all those held in emotions (we do insist on trying to put on a brave face but it catches up with us from time to time). Sending hugs. Jules xx
Hi Jules, still feel a bit down maybe the time of year when everyone going away and you feel left behind plus the weather isnt that good at the moment. wont to mow my lawns but the grass is to wet .My friend who lost her husband 6yrs ago said she feels like i do many times, you just have to keep going and carry on like they would wont you to regards Syl x
Like you frustrated that we are not getting much of a summer so far and my lawn is resembling a mini meadow with clover, buttercups and daisies!! Needless to say looks lovely but needs mowing.grrr.
I like quiz programmes too (including tipping point,the chase or sometimes pointless/eggheads on the other channel) and often pick up info which can come in useful when I tackle crosswords!
I feel no surprise that you are having down times (hindsight coming into play I suppose)as I think bereavement brings so many emotions, some of which we may never have felt so strongly before. We have a big gap where hubby used to be in our lives and I personally feel it is a very slow process to both accept that loss and 'map out' a coping mechanism.
It is eighteen months tomorrow since my hubby passed away and of course I still feel the sadness of his loss and the life we shared. The only real difference now is that I find comfort in knowing his suffering (both physically but also his mental withdrawal from those around him) is at an end having lived with his terminal diagnosis for nearly 3 years. My inner strength now is there because of the life we shared and knowing that he would want our family to carry on in his memory. It is important to me (as it would have been to him) that our children and grandchildren enjoy the life we currently have. Feeling guilty that I can laugh and enjoy aspects of my life, despite my loss, takes some adjustment but time is helping. I cope by taking it one day at a time (sometimes still having to accept emotion is a part of the healing process - not easy for someone who got used to hiding it for my hubby's peace of mind) and not to expect too much of myself (my GP also explained that I had probably been grieving for the man I lost during his illness and I suppose she is correct). Widowhood is not easy but with understanding and support of friends and family the time comes when the coping becomes a more normal way forward. We carry those we have lost in our hearts and I like to think they would be proud of whatever we manage to do.
On a slightly humerous note my seven year old grandson still reckons I need to marry again, mainly to help with the washing up (like his Dad does with my daughter) but also to give me someone else to talk to. I have gently told him I am OK as I am but think there will be more comments to come!
Just off now to do the weekly shop as the sun is out and would prefer to do it in the dry and then another first - going to the local high street fun day alone. Be kind to yourself. Jules xx
HiJules, just read your e-mail it made me laugh at what your grandson said about you marrying again. cant seem to shake this feeling of sadness off went into town with my daughter she wanted a new pair of shoes as she is off out tonight.came home and cried all evening , it dosnt change any thing no matter how hard we wish things could be different ,its nice to know your enjoying life and getting on with things with family and friends.hope i havnt made you sad with my comments take care Syl x
I am not upset by your posts my dear as can understand them and your feelings. The forum is a good place to offload and have done so myself many a time I can assure you. Writing it down does not change anything but somehow sharing it makes you feel just a little less alone with your grief. I bet you were putting on the brave face whilst out shopping and sometimes that effort just boils over once back in the privacy of your own home.
I just went to the gym and then for a walk this morning as it was nice to get the sun on my face for a change. Came home and mowed the lawn before my daughter and family popped in for a short while. Have been watching the tennis in between pottering and managed to get the washing up to date. Maybe I will save the ironing for tomorrow evening when I have nothing much planned.
I am not upset by your posts my dear as can understand them and your feelings. The forum is a good place to offload and have done so myself many a time I can assure you. Writing it down does not change anything but somehow sharing it makes you feel just a little less alone with your grief. I bet you were putting on the brave face whilst out shopping and sometimes that effort just boils over once back in the privacy of your own home.
I just went to the gym and then for a walk this morning as it was nice to get the sun on my face for a change. Came home and mowed the lawn before my daughter and family popped in for a short while. Have been watching the tennis in between pottering and managed to get the washing up to date. Maybe I will save the ironing for tomorrow evening when I have nothing much planned.
