Syliva, I am so very sorry for your loss, I know how it feels, my husband passed away in October and I miss him so much, I too wish they could let us know they are ok. There are lots of people on here going through the same terrible time who will offer support. Sending love to you Debbie xxxxxx
Hi Debbie not heard off you in a while hope your ok ,been out with my son and daughter on different ocasions over the week end, it was lovely to get out and about for a while im well aware im alwaye coming home to a empty house. regards syl
Glad you found some plants at the garden centre and you will benefit from seeing them in your own garden. I spent a lot of time in the garden during the first six/nine months after I lost hubby as found it good therapy to be concentrating on something I enjoyed (and was always more my space as my husband travelled away for his job). Being an only child, and having few relatives on my side of the family (hubby's siblings moved to the Isle of Man three weeks before he died so do not see them much) I suppose I was used to spending time on my own but did and still do miss hubby (and probably always will). Am lucky that at the moment the children are fairly close and with the arrival of baby Darcey we are in touch regularly via technology!! but I want them to enjoy their own lives, as we did ours during the years we were together. Time, and life, is so precious and I have learnt the hard way that I need to make the most of my time, however the future turns out. I still take one day at a time and no longer expect too much of myself so if I have an emotional day or days sobeit.
I hope you will, in time, find things a little easier and I know our men would be proud of us, though to be honest think mine would be laughing at the fact that I chose to have a new kitchen 'at my age' and when I am not a particularly good cook!!! Still the house was a bit dated and in need of some TLC so another project which gave me focus.
Hi jules,glad your ok its nice to hear your doing well and getting on with things, think i have got a way to go yet i seem ok for a few days then feel sad and cry .i am also not a good cook, i was lucky my hubby would eat anything he wasnt a fussy eater good job really .lol take care Syl x
My family do not think there is much wrong with my cooking it is just that I do not enjoy it much and never have (take after my Mum!!). Far happier laying out a buffet and taking the lazy route. Still the for charity coffee morning I did rustle up a couple of cakes which passed muster and I make rock cakes for my son aat the weekend which he liked. Perhaps the electric cooker is going to be my new friend!
My emotions can still catch me out and I think we just have to accept that this is a natural part of mourning the loss of our loved ones. Still hard though when you think about things for too long. I have got into the habit of keeping a few jobs back so that when a 'moment' hits me I allow the tears to come and go and then focus on the job in hand. Needless to say have a pile of ironing awaiting the next melt down. My housework always comes out better if I have an emotional outburst - not doubt a bit of anger thrown in as I clean.
I have no doubt that next weekend will be hard for my children as Father's Day arrives again even though they will be helping their own families celebrate. It is over 8 years since my own Dad passed away with prostate/lung cancer but that does not stop me feeling sad about it.
Right had best start thinking about dinner and get the bits and bobs I need out of the fridge ready for the oven - stuffed mushrooms tonight.
HI JULES ,glad you ok i havnt been to bad this week me and the kids are going to the river seven on Sunday , my husband wanted his ashes thrown in there it was one of the rivers he loved to fish. im sure there will be a few tears as well as laughter as we remanice.his favourite tipple was whiskey we will have a tot and remember the good times we had over the years.take care Syl x
I know there will be mixed emotions when you and the family carry out your husband's wishes at the River Severn this Sunday but think it is a beautiful choice he made. A couple of coincidences in what you write as my hubby loved to fish (sea and river/lake) and was also a lover of Whiskey. I have never been a fan of either but do keep a bottle of his favourite tipple in my new kitchen (small comfort to me) and share it with his best buddy when he and his wife visit. Good memories of times spent together. Hope the sun shines for you too. Take care Jules x
Hi jules, went to the seven as planned everything went well even the weather was lovely, we all had a tot of whiskey, we even went for a walk along the pathway under the famous iron bridge , after our walk we went in one of the pubs for sunday lunch. Hope my hubby was happy with what we did ,it was one of his last wishes to have his ashes scattered on the seven. my hubby also liked canal / lake fishing, he wasnt keen on sea fishing , im sure he will be fishing and having a tot of whiskey where ever he his i hope so regards Syl x
So pleased all went well on Sunday and I think your husband would be very proud that you and the family were able to carry out his wishes. Good that the weather played ball too. The occasion sounded so peaceful and despite the emotions that it no doubt brought with it I am pleased you could celebrate his memory this way. Take care Jules xx
Hi Jules , yes the day went well it was nice to full fill his wish , dont feel to bad at the moment i talk to him all the time i have a lovely big photo of him in the bedroom which i kiss every time i go into the room, like Debbie there are some pictures of him i cant bring my self to look at yet they are the last ones we took of him i know i would cry if i saw them . take care Syl x
Hi Jules, just a quick e mail, hope your ok not been to good for a few days seem to cry for no reason, went to a memorial service at the crem where we had my husbands service it was very moving and sad hope i feel better soon regards Syl x
Its perfectly natural that you will have these days though they do seem hard to cope with when they occur. Going to the memorial service at the crem would have completely reminded you of all that your husband you and the family have been through. When they invited me to a memorial service for those who had passed I decided, along with my children, that this was not something we needed to do. It was just a couple of weeks after I had been back to the crematorium for the funeral of one of my hubby's buddies and I had not coped well at all - just was totally overwhelmed and felt as though I was starting the grieving process anew. They are difficult times.
Be kind to yourself, crying gives us some release from all those held in emotions (we do insist on trying to put on a brave face but it catches up with us from time to time). Sending hugs. Jules xx
Its perfectly natural that you will have these days though they do seem hard to cope with when they occur. Going to the memorial service at the crem would have completely reminded you of all that your husband you and the family have been through. When they invited me to a memorial service for those who had passed I decided, along with my children, that this was not something we needed to do. It was just a couple of weeks after I had been back to the crematorium for the funeral of one of my hubby's buddies and I had not coped well at all - just was totally overwhelmed and felt as though I was starting the grieving process anew. They are difficult times.
Be kind to yourself, crying gives us some release from all those held in emotions (we do insist on trying to put on a brave face but it catches up with us from time to time). Sending hugs. Jules xx
