Feeling lost

In January my Mam was dignosed with a rare cancer, I was heartbroken to be told that we would be very lucky to have my mam come summer. It was even more heart belt waking as at the time I was 9 months pregnant and the doctors who where looking after my mam didn't know of my mam would meet my baby. So they rang my doctors and asked for me to be induced my doctors refused and I went two weeks over the labour and birth were a night mare. My mam finally got to meet my beautiful little girl. My mam is fighting so hard and is still here and I'm so happy to have this time with her and my daughter but I feel so lost I get excited because I have my beautiful baby. Then I feel guilty because my mam is suffering I am crying all the time. I just don't know what to do anymore my feels seem to be getting blocked. How do I come to terms such different emotions without it brining me down all the time. We where told we need to talk to my mam more about her situation how do we even start to talk about her dying??? 

  • Hi

    Sorry about your mum. Nothing wrong with a good cry.

    Does your mum want to know how long she had got? As my mum didn't want to know.

    Maybe you could Phone McMillian for advice Tel 0808 808 00 00, or the ask nurses on here.

     

  • Hey no mum doesn't want to know how long I don't think I do either. It's all so scary I can't imagine easing my daughter not having my mam there for advice. Trying to look after mam and baby is very trying. Xxx thanks for advice. 

  • Hi again ,

    Must be hard when just had your baby and all this going on . Maybe best to live a day at a time.

    I didn't want to know how long mum had got. Mum was quite well, nearly to the end. Bit of a shock when mum did die, as even the doctor week before thought mum had longer.

    In the hospital she did start to drink more so looked she was getting better. Then 3rd day couldn't get a readable blood pressure. Wasn't happy when a nurse scared her, by rushing in. Mum did ask if she was dying I said no. As doctor said could have one day or a week. Or even pull through from the pneumonia. So thought that be best thing to say. Family was with her. Just horrible to see some you love this way and can't do much.

    Hopes the best medicine some times, with this cancer roller coaster.

  • hi Dublin1

    i am so sorry baout your mum i am in a similar position i feel lost although must say dont be too hard on yourself your mum will be proud of you just being there means so much to them. congrats on your baby too, something i feel sorely heartbroken about as i know my mum won't get to see me have any children this i am struggling with as my mum is my life guidance mum and best friend. we personally don't talk about the dying part at the moment if mum wants to i let her but i don't mention it as i can't imagine how she must be feeling. i cant bare the thought of being here without mum. try to keep a positive head on i am and think of your beautiful baby girl she has you to look up to now just like i imagne you have done your mum. life is so cruel sometimes :( big hug to you 

  • Hi,

    So glad that your Mam managed to see the baby born, that will mean a lot to her.
    As to how to talk to her about dying, follow her lead - I assume she knows what her situation is and she will talk to you about it when the time feels right for her.

    Best wishes
    Dave