My mum died on 15th of February

I have posted on here before whilst my mum was still alive but now she has died. My mum died on February the 15th, I was there with her which I am grateful for as I always knew I had to be. However it has left me haunted a bit. My mum was 52 and she absolutely loved life and did not want to go. Even about 2-3 weeks prior to her death we had been planning her next chemo but sadly it was just one thing after the other for her and nothing was working. She couldn't get treatment for various reasons. She went into hospital due to a serious infection and the doctor had to tell her no more your body can't take any more. It was horrendous. She didn't want to talk about it after that. I asked if she wanted to talk about absolutely anything but she said no. She didn't cry those last few weeks. She couldn't really talk very much. I was so sad. I am still so sad. I didn't really feel like I was at her funeral I didn't cry. But now I feel like I can't cope. I feel so bad for my dad. He's 63. I live with my dad and my brother. I have one very good friend for who I am so grateful for. But I just miss my mum. I'm struggling with uni work too. Don't know why I'm writing this I just feel desperate. 

  • Hi Sarahcaro

    Sorry that you are feeling desperate about the loss of your mum.

    I have replied to you to offer my condolences on another thread.

    I just wondered though whether you have had he chance to explain to your university that you are struggling with your studies at the moment.

    I'm sure they will understand and they will be able to help support you if you let them know what has happened.

    Let us know how you are getting on,

    Best wishes

    Jane

  • I know exactly what your going through. Please don't hesitate to message me. I lost my mum on the 14th of January. You can always talk to me xx

  •  

    Hi, I know exactly how you feel. I lost my dad on the 14th Feb and it is still such a shock. I feel desperately sad something I don't remember ever  feeling in this way before. I feel hollow and empty . I am trying to be strong for everyone else especially my mum  but when I'm alone it all comes out. I know you are suffering like me and many others, but we will get through this like many people on this site have in the past. If you need someone to listen to you please keep in touch. It does really help to know you are not alone and others are thinking about you.

    Stay strong I am thinking about you.

    Deb x

     

  • Hi... this is my first time on here... I lost my mum on 28th Feb. .. mum was diagnosed on 27th Dec.... stage 4 lung cancer. ... I'm deversated. ..  we haven't had the funeral yet.... I'm dreading it.... I don't feel like I'm coping very well... I've asked for consulling but the waiting list is long... I just can't believe mum has gone...  just miss her so bad.... thanks for reading.... louise x

  • Hi Sarah just alittle note to say you can call if you need to talk ,the feelings your feeling now are normal we all feel that we sould have done more for our love ones.Your body is built to cope and we all cope differant ways. Remember you are not alone .Stay strong.

  • Hi Louise,

    Welcome to Cancer Chat and I am sorry to hear you lost your mum recently. Our sincere condolences to you and your family. You have come to the right place though for support. Our page on Coping with Grief may be a useful read but there's nothing like talking to others here who can truly understand how you feel because they are going through the same emotions themselves. Perhaps you could start your own forum thread too? 

    Best wishes,

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Hi

    My mum died December which happened very suddenly we didn't know until the day she passed, she also loved life and wasn't ready, I've found it and still finding it difficult, my mum was my world. If you would like to chat please get in touch. I find it hard to talk and express how I feel with people I know. 

  • Hi Sarahcaro - I'm ever so sorry to hear about the loss of your mum, it's truley one of the the hardest things anyone will ever have to go through, the loss of a parent. You understandably feel like you've hit rock bottom and aren't too sure which way is up right now but I just wanted to write to you so you know that in the future, one day you will start to feel yourself again. Instead of thinking of your mum and the only tears appearing being those of sadness, devestation and pain, you'll reach a point where your tears will represent all those happy memories that the two of you share, you'll remember her eyes and her smile and it'll bring a feeling of warmth back in to your heart because she will be forever with you. I'm now 26 and lost my father 18 years ago - he's still the first thought on my mind when I wake up and the last person I say good night too before going to sleep, but most of all the thought of him makes me smile. You too will reach this feeling of contentment, I'm not saying it will be easy but I can promise you it will be worth it <3 If you ever need to talk, I'm just a message away.

    Kate x