Don't let anyone hurry you to sort out your Husbands things.....! Why rush! It again is so personal to you and no reason why you shouldn't keep everything forever ifthat was what you wanted! My Mum in Law died on 13th December last year and my husband and I have not touched her bungalow yet.....It will happen when he is ready and then at a pace he is able to cope with....It's his childhood home where he lost his Dad and Brother! I will say tho that you can have clothes altered or upcycled into rugs, bags, wall art, cushions etc which is a lovely way of keeping your loved ones things but putting them to a useful purpose in your everyday life! C.x

Hi to you all,

My story is detailed elsewhere but what I haven't said is that 20 years ago I went through this grief with the loss of a partner. It could be said I am the proof you can get through and be happy again, but it does not make it any easier to deal with the fact that my wife is dying now.

I can talk from experience that the pain you feel, just like someone is trying to tear your insides out, it wiĺl ease, it doesn't go overnight, but don't dwell on the things that you can do nothing about and bring you pain. Concentrate on the positives. One thing I will stress to anyone going ghrough this awful grief is remember you are YOU and what others did and think you should do  does not mean it is right for you. I took ages to sort my wifes wardrobe and then I woke at 4am one morning  cleared it all and by 10 it was all in the charity shop. Similarly I started "dating" when I felt it was right, it may have been too soon for others but it was right for me .

I know what to say and what to expect but I cannot take away the hurt.

Keep strong and as you say it's sometimes easier to write what you think, if you don't want to put it out in public, try writing down your thoughts and once you've finished, burn them. For me this allowed me to get rid of thoughts and a sense of sending thoughts to my partner, but again that was just me.

Be strong and remember the good times.

Best wishes 

Deggsy 

Hi ChrisG  nah I haven't sorted my tonys clothes or possessions  out there still in my bedroom I have put lots  of things in memory  boxes but haven't done anything  with his clothes but I do have a plan for them going to get teddy bears and pillows/ cushions  made out of his jumpers shirts and t shirts as want to keep them all ... I had a request off of tony sister 2 weeks after he passed saying they wanted an item of his clothing  ( the only time they actually  spoke to me) I said yh at the time and now I don't  want to not to be nasty or selfish but haven't heard nothing from them and had so much hurt thrown my way before his funeral and I was threatened  by them and now I hear nothing. .. so I'm doing what I want. .  But like yourself  I've not done anything  with his clothes  yet as too soon for me to start ... do it in your time no one else's xx 

The support on here is lovely  like you said friends around us that we thought were friends can do one as I have no time for certain people anymore my patience  is gone especially  going through the family being so out of order on me it has changed me .. can't tolerate  bill s###t excuse  my French but it's the only word that will do ... 

Sending love always xx

Thanks for your words deggsy xx sorry to hear about your situation now and your late wife xxxx 

Yeah it seems I will never ever get through this the thought of thinking of the future is a blank ... so I just avoid it as I end up in a mess the thought of going through the rest of my life without my tony is killing me .  So I'm just trying to take each hour as it comes and most of these hours are full of upset hurt depression and full blown anxiety  .. questions  that will never be answered. ..

I have started writing things down but I onky do few then end up in a mess its a vicious  circle everything  I do I end  up all over the place ... 

Do I wanna get over tony ........ no never xx 

You keep strong and sending love to you xx 

everyone try  have a good weekend  xx 

I know I won't but  I will go crematorium  Sunday and put my rose and balloon  down for my tony and will say a pray for us all xx 

Thank you cfeast xxx 

Hi Chris I know hun .. I'm like that every day remembering what we was doing this time last year .. so sad sending ove xx later when I'm home I will send over details for the teddys ... And my friend is going to do me the cushions .. But will send over details from other website's that do them .. if you know anyone that's got a sewing machine and there good they can do the cushions for you ... Ok speak soon xx 

Thinking of you Chris xx 

If you can look up how to do them yourself that can be very healing. I have not heard of the teddies but I make my own cushions and jeans bags and my step Mum makes rag rugs and wall art....All fairly easy if you were inclined to have a go. :) xx

Hi CG, I never thought I would be talking like this either, but here we are. I am trying to book a caravan down in Poole for a weekend in May or sooner for Alan as he loved it there so much he asks if he can go again for one last time. Take care, love and Hugs, Geraldine