Hi Deggsy I can completely relate to this

My wife died of primary peritoneal cancer back in October. She was at high risk of ovarian cancer and had had a hysterectomy to prevent this so when she showed up with symptoms but no ovaries it was very confusing for all until PPC was diagnosed!

Amazingly she had few symptoms until the last week - never seemed to be an actual blockage but the best guess seems to be she had a bowel shutdown then an associated infection which she was unable to throw off with a compromised immune system. And yes her last 2 or 3 days were the hardest thing I've ever lived through.

All I can say is be there for her, make sure she's as comfortable as possible and gets the pain relief she needs - ask to talk to the palliative team at the hospital they can help you in this and can explain what it will probably be like to be there when it happens so you know what to expect - I found that took so much of the worry out of it for me.

Don't worry too much now about afterwards - you'll have a lot of grief as so many of us on here have but your friends and familly will help and so will people on here

spend these last days with her well, if you can, try to take her mind off it a bit and be strong for her so she's not worried about what will happen to you when she's gone.

And stay with us on line and we'll see if we can't help you pick up the pieces 

Thanks Graham,

My wife is recieving the very best care that anyone could wish for at our local hospice and the staff are there  for all of  us and as you have said have prepared us all for what is going to happen. What I didn't say was the prognosis of short  weeks was given when she went  into the hospice on christmas eve and here  we  are at the end of Jan. she's a  real fighter. Living with the fact that there is no long term future and trying to make every day  special has been hard and then coming home each night wondering if that will  be the last time I see her, over such a long time causes me to question so many things.

I will keep posting as it does help to keep my emotions in check

Thanks again.

Deggsy

The conversation you had with your wife was similar to the last words I spoke to my husband. A peaceful release for those we love brought a little comfort in the difficult days following the deep loss. Sending hugs and keeping you both in my thoughts. Jules x

Thanks for your posts and hugs virtual or real certainly help.

Well the waiting is over, Gill passed away peacefully this afternoon at 3.20 with me and her daughter by her side, I was able to give her a cuddle as she took her last few breaths and I hope she was aware I was there for her.

Now I will be busy, being practical is my forte, so I will immerse myself in all the arrangements etc.

Will try to keep posting

Deggsy 

Aww I'm so sorry for your loss deggsy. She's at peace now and you can take a step back and hopefully relax a little bit knowing she's fine. And i have no doubt she knows you were by her side. Hugs -Diane x

My condolences on the sad loss of Gill. Be kind to yourself in the coming days and the forum is here as and when you feel able to post. Jules

Hi Deggsy,

All of us at Cancer Chat would like to echo the sentiments expressed by our lovely members. We have been following your story day by day and we are so sorry to hear that Gill passed away this afternoon, but it's nice to hear that she was surrounded by you and her daughter. I have no doubt that she could feel all that love that was around her. How moving the way you describe giving her a cuddle at the very end. 

Our sincere condolences to you and your family,

Best wishes,

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

I am so sorry for your very sad loss, Deggsy, but pleased that you and her daughter were with her.  xx

Thinking of you and your family Deggsy

Kat 

Thanks.

Woke up this morning to a new world, a little poorer for the loss of my beautiful Gill, but enriched by her during her life. Now to get on with making sure that we all carry forward her spirit into the future. 

Deggsy 

Ah - I was about to say I'm sorry to hear that Deggsy but I guess that's not quite right under the circumstances.

I think you and Gill really touched so many of us on here, for me in particular as it brought back so many memories. We've all been impressed by your strength and resillience and I know you'll arrange a wonderful funeral.

Come back when you've time and talk to us especially when the lows kick in - I've found that offering what help and support I can to others has been a great healer I think you might too 

Gill's spirit will be carried in your heart wherever you may be Deggsy and I know you will do her memory proud as you make arrangements for the celebration of her life. Your forum buddies can keep you company as and when you need to share.  Like Graham has said, I too find it a help to support others as I was supported during the saddest of times. Keeping you and the family in my thoughts. Jules

Gill's spirit will be carried in your heart wherever you may be Deggsy and I know you will do her memory proud as you make arrangements for the celebration of her life. Your forum buddies can keep you company as and when you need to share.  Like Graham has said, I too find it a help to support others as I was supported during the saddest of times. Keeping you and the family in my thoughts. Jules