Hi all, I have never posted on anything like this before so sorry if I ramble on. My mum passed away on the 9th of November this year after a 18 month battle with a glioblastoma brain tumour, she had a few courses of chemo and radiotherapy in the early stages but February this year all her treatment stopped as it wasn't working anymore and she slowly deteriorated from then on. I was very close to my mum and the last 3 days I didn't leave her side and I was the one who woke one morning at the hospital and raised the alarm that my mum had passed away. Now sorry for rambling on that's just the details of what happened to my angel of a mum but the main reason I decided to post on here was because of dreams etc iv been having and wondered of anyone else has had similar situations. I'm waking up quite frequently at night with visions in my head of when I found my mum had passed away lay in the hospital bed and also images in my head of her sat in her favourite chair at home (before she got admitted to hospital) but all the images are from when she has been poorly, now I know people say remember the good times but I'm really struggling to, it's like there's a barrier in my way from remembering them and I don't know why, I also feel mad with myself as I haven't been crying much, I don't want people to think that I don't care because I do, obviously I have my odd moments at home where I may have a little cry but not as much as I thought I would, there's so much pain in my heart and I feel like I'm just going through the motions day by day and feel like it isn't real, thanks to anyone who takes the time out to read this message and if anyone has any advice or similar thoughts please message me back, thanks x
