Hi Minchind,

Sorry that you have lost your mum. You sound like a devoted son and no doubt your mum will have appreciated having you by her side in her final days.

We have some information here about coping with grief.

I hope you find it helpful.

Please don't feel that you are rambling. It may help to write your feelings down and there are plenty of people here who will understand what you are going through now.

Best wishes

Jane

Hi Minchind .... I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your Mum - you have been through a very traumatic time and my heart goes out to you.  There is no 'right' way to grieve and often our reactions surprise us.  I lost my Dad in 2008 and can honestly say that I have never shed a tear about it although we had a loving relationship and I saw him every day. 

I was also with Dad when he passed and the image of that sadly does stay with you, although it gets less painful and raw as time passes. 

Just take each day as it comes - try not to look too far ahead and forget the expectations of how it 'should be'.  Just allow yourself to grieve in whatever form that takes.  I hope it helps you to write down how you feel and I am sure there are many people on the site who will also relate to your feelings.

Please keep in touch and let us know how you are getting along.  I hope you have family and friends who will help to support you particularly with Christmas on the horizon.

Take care and know we are always here when you need us x

Hi Minchind, I am sorry to hear of your Mother's passing. I lost my Husband 3 months ago and for the first month or so all I could remember was him during the last 2 weeks before he passed. I think it is this way so we can process the events and come to accept them. I have since been able to remember wonderful times before he became sick. I know what you mean about the pain in your heart and going through the motions. I think we all do this to some degree depending on our circumstances. Don't worry about not crying much. We all have our own way of grieving. It is one of lifes most difficult things to go through.

Please take care of yourself and know you are not alone.

Cindy

Hi Minchind,

I am new on here and lost my partner Jean in the space of 2 months just 2 weeks ago, very sudden and I am a complete mess at the moment. I guess everyone grieves differently, that's why we have these forums to learn off each other. I don't think your cold at all, nobody is, the pain we feel inside is the torment of having a loved one taken away from you is processes individually by everyone's brain.

I was told today to try and talk to someone I trust as I am the same and keep things to myself and cry alone!

Keep coming on to the sites, the more we talk the more we learn.

Graeme

Hi Minchind, I am so sorry about the loss of your Mother! It's horrible watching a beloved parent lose their life and not being able to do anything about it. I lost my Dad 2 weeks ago and I still find it hard to come to terms with the fact he is never coming back, I too was in the hospital with my Dad for the last 3 days of his life,

Everyone's grief is unique, there is no wrong or right way to do it! Some people quietly feel the pain and may not cry to months later, some people can’t stop crying and some people feel numb or angry. You also have waves of all these emotions. I have gone through all kinds of emotions and lately I have been feeling a lot of anger at my Dad being taken so soon.

I've been replaying the final moments of my Dad's life and time in hospital over and over in my mind, I find it hard to sleep sometimes. In some of the moments I pretend there was a different outcome and my Dad was alive but quickly bring myself back to reality. I’m still trying to figure myself out, feel pretty lost at the moment, I know as time goes on it will get a bit easier

My thoughts and prayers are with you, grief how you want to, don't care about what others think as at the end of the day they are not you. 

If you every need to let off some steam do it and you are not rambling

Dear Minchind,  Thank you for taking time to share your story. I truly am honored that you have chosen to share your experience and your feelings and your struggle. It takes courage to share these intimate and vulnerable feelings. As I encourage you to be gentle with yourself, this is advice I so badly need to hear over and over again. Go slowly and take time to heal. Just because we have a wound that is emotional doesn't really make it any less a wound than a physical injury that needs time to get better. We are learning as we go and I am hoping to learn from this forum. Take care of yourself, flippy9