Hi

That was a shock. I lost my mum 6 months ago. I looked after for over two years and hate the fact wont beable to speak to her. We were very close.

Like you the grief is a little better. But wonder how to muddle on.

Someday better than others

.

Almost a year on didn't think I would survive a day without him but I'm still here.  I miss him so very much, his smiling face,  the fun, his love and his wisdom, our conversations everything

I know how you feel., my husband passed away in March. He was a good man, 61 fit and hardworking, he didn't drink or smoke and ate a healthy diet, We were together over 40 years and I will miss him for the rest of my life. I will always feel that he was robbed of what should have been the time of his life to finally relax a little. Last October he became unsteady and fell a couple of times, I took him to the doctors who did the usual blood pressure checks, bloods etc. We must have gone half dozen times til I asked for a referral to a neuro surgeon because he was worsening daily. the neuro surgeon said it was classic symptom of brain tumour .Our world fell apart, the tumours were secondary to an aggressive form of oesophagul cancer that we had been unaware of , it was late stage and only palliative care was offered although he did have some doses of whole brain radiotherapy to try and reduce the size of the tumours but he aged 20 years almost overnight and was far worse after. The worse thing was he was so aware of what was happening. and I still feel so sad about that and always will. I got him home , eventually in March he became bedridden , his appetite went from soup to nothing at all for the last two weeks and he couldn't drink either. I hoped that he would pass peacefully in his sleep whilst still praying for a miracle but that wasn't to be. He became very anxious for the last couple of days and was aware that he was dying and everything was just so awful-I still cry for the unfairness of it all , he was my best friend, such a good man and I miss everything about him, I often look for signs that he may send and have even talked to a solar powered garden ornament that lit up when I walked past just in case it was a sign. Is that bonkers? So I know exactly what you're feeling and you do me , They will always live on in our hearts, take care x

Hi Deben haven't spoke to you in a long while. Hope your doing well. It will always be hard getting over the loss but what I learned is just taking one day at a time. Though it has been 4 years since my John passed and I've healed for his death I still miss him terribly. Take care -Diane x

Gordom,

Thank you for your post, I am so very sorry for your losses, I know how hard it is losing your husband and best friend.  In the early days I found this site to be very helpful there are some lovely caring people to help you through those dark times, to give encouragement and advice. I hope you have good family and friends to support you.  I have no children and live on my own which has been very difficult, although the pain is not as raw now, I still miss Sam so very much, it is just over 2 years now and I am slowly trying to rebuild my life but I know I will never have that same happiness again - he was my world.

Sending hugs take care xxxxx

Debbie