I feel exactly the same!  cant believe myhusband isnt here.  He died of lung cancer a week ago a few weeks after the diagnosis.  he had COPD but we didnt know he had cancer though he had been losing weight and not eating much since before Christmas.  He kept saying he was dying on his feet but dont call the doctor as he hated the thought of ending up in hospital where he had been with pneumonia a year ago.  The last week at home was terrible and we finally got hospice care as I couldnt cope and then managed to get him admitted to the Hospice.   When he arrived there he became unconcious very quickly though I just managed to hear him whisper " please help me".  It was agonisng .  He wanted water but couldnt swallow.   He was unconscious for 3 nights while I stayed there and then I went in to the garden for a few minutes to phone a friend and came back to sit by him and realised he had stopped breathing.  It was still a shock and I am devastated-- cant stop crying as soon as I am on my own.   We have no family but a good friend has stayed a few nights with me thank goodness. I am not very religious but wonder what on earth is the reason for all this suffering for people with cancer and their loved ones?

I 

My heart goes out to you. I am so sorry for your loss. I too wonder how we all are supposed ro muddle through all the suffering and pain, those who have cancer and those of us left devastated with the loss of our loved ones, the enormous holes left in our lives, going on alone without our partners. I had some relatively stable days last week where I could manage some of my grief a little better, but today was a disaster from beginning to end, missing my husband so much and seeing no way further. My husband passed away 7 months ago..it has been a rollercoaster. He died 8 weeks after diagnosis. He seemd perfectly healthy and then such a terrible shock. I so hope you have some support. I am glad to hear your friend stayed with you. I find it hard to be on my own also, I cry a lot. It's really hard. Emotions ambush me and knock me over. Please do keep in touch, it has helped me to feel connected to others here that know what it means to suffer such great loss. I hope it will help you also. Take care

Hi

That was a shock. I lost my mum 6 months ago. I looked after for over two years and hate the fact wont beable to speak to her. We were very close.

Like you the grief is a little better. But wonder how to muddle on.

Someday better than others

.

Hi

That was a shock. I lost my mum 6 months ago. I looked after for over two years and hate the fact wont beable to speak to her. We were very close.

Like you the grief is a little better. But wonder how to muddle on.

Someday better than others

.