Hi Lindaboi,

I cannot imagine your pain as I wasn't married but am a single mother of 2 and lost my beautiful daddy to lung and bone cancer just over 3 weeks ago. We waited 4 months to get a diagnosis and daddy died 6 weeks later without even getting the chance to recieve any treatment. He had pallative care for the last 3 weeks but had to go into hospital 5 days before he died. He ended up taking pneumonia and it took him so swiftly. I have a 15 year old son who only new my daddy as his grandfather his real father walked out years ago and my daddy took his place. It's heartbreaking whatever the circumstances. He wont open up my son and seems to be coping but I am in bits every day as the man who truly loved us had to leave through death I have a mummy who is trying to adjust but sometimes she seems so strong as they were married for 53 years but other times I hear anger in her voice but its directed at the gp and hospital possibly because they left my dad so long before it was diagnosed. I listen to alot of music but it breaks me down and the tears have to flow it is apart of the grieving process I love a song called angel by Andy Ruck. If you listen to it be prepared for the tears. Take each day as it comes they say they have only gone ahead of us but it seems like an eternity to we see them again. When the sun shines i think of how he loved gardening and when it rains I think it's tears from heaven. I have turned to prayer quite abit as I feel God has to be looking out for us at this time. It's okay to scream and shout and be angry your releasing emotions and you need to do that and it's okay to blame God he should understand but he must have his reason for taking your husband so early in life. As I write this another family is also having their heart broke too.

Regards
Tyrone248

Hello,Lindaboi,

I totally feel for you.  I was 38 with 3 children of 13, 5 and 2 when my husband died.  That was 31 years ago and, although I have learnt to accept it and have got on with my life, it doesnt make the circumstances of his death any easier.  I bought up my children, worked really hard, did lots of charity work and then retired at 67. At 69 I was diagnosed with incurable cancer.  Life isn't fair but we are stronger than we think.

It is still so new and raw for you, you must give yourself a great deal of time to work through this.  Time is a great healer, but that isn't a week or two, it's months or years. Encourage your sons to talk, they quite often are afraid in case they break down in front of you.  I do wish you well and hope that you soon find peace.  x

Hi 

Lindaboi and family,

How are you doing?  I totally  know what you are going through,  I lost my husband 6 yrs in Jan to pancreatic  and secondary  liver cancer,  it was very quick and the weight loss,  it's heartbreaking..   it dose get easier  I found you learn to cope with the " new normal " xxx

Hi curly, we are all still in shock really. I never dreamed that this would happen so quickly, to only get 12 weeks is so sad. I look at pictures of him from May and June and he was so different. I thought even though we knew he was terminal that we would have gotten more that 12 weeks. The thing I was annoyed about Also was the lack of funding that goes into pancreatic cancer think it's 1%  and the stats that haven't changed in 40 years. It's not until you are faced with this that you know about it. I think I'm going to do some fund raising that will help me   Thanks 

Hi Lindaboi and CG,

I just wanted to send you both my sincere condolences as you have lost your husbands only a few days ago. It must all still be very raw for you and we hope that this forum will give you some comfort in knowing that you can feel less alone by sharing similar experiences.

Warmest wishes and my thoughts are also with all of you on this thread who have lost a loved one, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi cg. I feel very similar to you with the treatment side of things. I feel we were robbed of my husband as he never got the chance for any treatment. He was originally going to get a Whipple operation In September which is the only thing that can potentially cure this disease and increase the survival rate to 24% for 5 years but a scan was done which showed it has spread to his liver so he couldn't get it done. My hope was lost at that point and palliative care was all we had. I am like you also with the sleeping thing, i wake up and just think of my husband because I miss him so much. Then I think of the last 12 weeks and how horrible it has been. I try to think of positive things but it's really hard at the moment.l. My husband loved Christmas time and to have it without him just breaks my heart. Thanks  

Hi CG, I am bearing up, still trying to come to terms with everything. How are you coping? I was thinking about you and having the funeral to get through. i coped ok on the day of my husbands funeral and had lots of family around me for support. I felt on the day that I had to be strong for my 2 teenage children. It is after that I found it more difficult and trying to come to terms with him not being here anymore. I try to think of all the happy memories we shared together but that is hard because all I can think of is his illness and the pain. I think it's amazing that you were with your husband for 50 years and you must have amazing memories together. I know it's hard to think of at the moment but they say it will get a bit better in time. Try to stay strong and I'm sure you will do your husband proud on Friday X