My mum died about 4 months ago, im 15

Hi everyone,

Im Jon, and im 15 1/2 years old. About 14 months ago, my mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer, from which she died in March of this year. Since the start of the year, I have felt depressed, initially as a result of what I knew was to come, but sebsequently as a result of her passing. About a month ago, I tried to get back in control of my emotions a bit, and to stop feeling so upset about her, but over the last few days ive found myself becoming increasingly depressed about her passing once again. Basically if there is any advice or tips that anyone can give me that would be great, thank you

  • Hi Jon,

    I'm sorry to read your post about your mum and the obvious and natural emotions you're having to deal with. There is a website of an organisation who help to support teenagers in your position, called Rip Rap. That may be worth looking into? 

    Also, I'm presuming you are on school holidays at the moment? Did you let your teachers know about your mum? They should have someone on the staff, trained in pastoral care who could be a good person to go to for support.  Let them know how you're feeling - some staff may be in school during the holidays - it may be worth going in ahead of the new term? 

    You haven't mentioned other family members. Is there a close relative or family friend who you feel able to offload to?

    I hope you'll post on the forum as often as you need to, as the virtual support we can offer may also help . 

    Sending you a big hug, take care, Jo x

     

  • Thank you Jo,

    Yes, it is school holidays at the moment, which I think in some ways is making it more difficult for me. I do not have any siblings, and my dad works full time, so most of the time it is just me at home by myself. I do not really have much close family, so I generally spend time alone a lot of the time, which I suppose allows me to think about my mum, and possibly cause me to become upset. As for school, the teachers were aware of my situation, and there was in fact one who had been through the same thing when he was my age, and while I have spoken to him in the past, I am slightly reluctant to contact him during the holidays, if you get what I mean?

    Thank you for your suggestions, Jon

     

     

  • Hi jon sorry to hear about the loss of your mum. Everyone no matter what their age suffers when they lose a parent it's just at your age you have the added pressure of hormones messing with you. I think meercat is right contact the group she recomends. Your mum would want you to get on with your life so don't feel guilty about seeing friends, going out and enjoying yourself. You will have times when you get upset and miss her this is only natural.

  • Hi Jon

    I am very sorry to read about the loss of your mother and how it's making you feel. When we lose someone we love, it is always a very emotional time and it brings home to us, how powerful emotions are and also how little control we have over them.

    I was very much older than you when I lost my mother and I too found it a very painful time. But Jon, I can tell you things do improve with time for we gradually learn to adjust to a new way of life that will never be quite the same. You have had some good advice from the lovely Meercat and River. The thing that helped me most when I felt down was to remember the good times and the laughs we had and there were plenty of them. Just remember that  a part of your mother still lives on in you as her guidance has helped shape the person you are. I often do or say things and think, that just what mum would have said or done and I fine it quite comforting.

    Please keep in contact, sending best wishes your way, Brian.

  • Hi Jon

    It's great to see you have received such a warm welcome.

    Here is a link to the riprap website Meerkat@65 mentioned.

    You can chat there to others your own age who have similar experiences to you.

    Feel free to come here too anytime to let us know how you are feeling.

    Best wishes

    Jane

     

  • Thank you river56, you are right in the fact that it is difficult for me at the moment with mood swings and so on, in addition to the extra emotion that I feel as a result of the passing of my mum. I have looked at and posted on the recommended site, thank you for your support. Jon

  • Hi Brian, thank you for your support and comments, it is definately fair to say that my emotions are notably overpowering at the moment. I suppose also you are right in the fact that she lives on in me, as she looked after me far more as a child, so she would have had an influence on me. Thank you again, Jon

  • Hi Jane, thank you for the link, which I have now checked out, also thank you for the support and welcome to the forum, all the best, Jon

  • hi jon100 sorry for your loss i lost my mum to ovarian cancer last december we did not know she had it, its a sneaky disease, and you do not get any symptoms till its to late, she also was in remission from early stage breast cancer since 21011, but no matter wat this bloody cancer always seems to win its way back, and the sooner they find a cure the better for all of us, mum only lasted three weeks in hospital and could not get any treament because it had spread up to her neck, i miss her every day but life must  go on i know but eight months on i still find it hard, hope you can pull through it in time llike i will have to take care oggi