Hi Billy

Welcome to the forum though sorry for the reason you find yourself being here.  I lost my husband of 37 years six months ago (still cannot believe it was that long ago as sometimes it feels like yesterday).

I hope writing your feelings down has helped a little. I found it helped me through the early dark days of loss/emotions as I could talk freely here (often crying as I typed too) and the support I received by my virtual buddies helped me to understand that the grieving emotions are different for everyone and you cannot place a timescale to how to move forward.  I also wished I could know for certain that I had done everything I could have (self doubt kept me awake for many an hour and my sleeping pattern is still erratic).

  I decided in my own time and with the help of family, friends and lots of patience that my husband really did not want to suffer from his cancer any more, that the quality of his life was bringing him much sadness and frustration and though he was not a talkative man he he was 'tired of living' after almost three years on his incurable cancer journey.

  Our personal journies with this miserable disease are all different but this week after coping very much on a day to day basis I have taken a few new steps to build on the new life I must take forward. I do not expect it to be easy but I am sure its what my husband would have wanted for me.I will carry him with me in my heart and slowly the memories of our good life together are replacing the difficult thoughts that surrounded us for so long.  There are many here who will understand your thoughts and feelings and I hope more will come along so that you know that you have somewhere to share and that you can have virtual support as and when you wish it. Sending a virtual hug.Jules54

Hi Billy

Welcome to the forum though sorry for the reason you find yourself being here.  I lost my husband of 37 years six months ago (still cannot believe it was that long ago as sometimes it feels like yesterday).

I hope writing your feelings down has helped a little. I found it helped me through the early dark days of loss/emotions as I could talk freely here (often crying as I typed too) and the support I received by my virtual buddies helped me to understand that the grieving emotions are different for everyone and you cannot place a timescale to how to move forward.  I also wished I could know for certain that I had done everything I could have (self doubt kept me awake for many an hour and my sleeping pattern is still erratic).

  I decided in my own time and with the help of family, friends and lots of patience that my husband really did not want to suffer from his cancer any more, that the quality of his life was bringing him much sadness and frustration and though he was not a talkative man he he was 'tired of living' after almost three years on his incurable cancer journey.

  Our personal journies with this miserable disease are all different but this week after coping very much on a day to day basis I have taken a few new steps to build on the new life I must take forward. I do not expect it to be easy but I am sure its what my husband would have wanted for me.I will carry him with me in my heart and slowly the memories of our good life together are replacing the difficult thoughts that surrounded us for so long.  There are many here who will understand your thoughts and feelings and I hope more will come along so that you know that you have somewhere to share and that you can have virtual support as and when you wish it. Sending a virtual hug.Jules54