Hi Sandra,

Please, you have no need to apoligise for a long post; the important thing is to unload your feelings and let people on here know how you are.

In one sense I disagree with what your family said. When cancer strike a family, you all suffer but in differnt ways. Yes it was your mother with the cancer but you yourself suffer emotionally. I know when my mother was suffering from breast cancer which spread to her brain, I felt so useless as there was nothing I could do to help ease her suffering except to be there for her. For their sake, we put on a brave face but thats the exacy opposite of how we really feel. Often we cant talk to other family members in an open an honest way for worrying about making them feel worse. Thats why this forum is such a good place for we can talk to people we will never meet, far easier than we can to family or even friends and knowing that others on here understand how we feel for often they have travelled a similar road.

Please let us know how your getting on, Grieving takes a long time but is just a reflection of how much we loved our lost one. Sending nest wishes and kind thoughts your way, Brian.