Hi Natypop, This grieving thing certainly is h*ll.  You think you are making headway but in fact it seems to just come back and bite you whenever life gets especially tough - it is just the final straw.  How are things with your fiance? It is very tough on those others we love or care about when the grief hits us. The not looking forward to your birthday is typical of how losing someone special impacts on us apparently forever. I am guessing there is some kind of process or right of passage that we all have to go through ..and sometimes if we cheat a bit or are too overwhelved by other circumstances the process gets halted for a while and then we have to pick it up again. I am sure it must come right and we will learn to live and enjoy our lives safe in the belief our loved ones are always with us in our hearts and our heads. Just not sure how d*mn long it takes! Counselling has to be a good thing I think. bye for now

Hi Sueps,

Thank you for replying, things with my fiancé are good, he's going through some things with his families and like a typical bloke is like a close book and everything seems to go over his head.

He's never lost a close memeber of his family so he struggles to understand, it can't be easy for him, he tries to support me as best as he can but it's practically like blind leading the blind.

I've had councelling before and it did help, telling a stranger is best because they're outside of the box. 

You are right that this process in a way gets halted when circumstances happen, it's nice to know that others think similar to me. I don't feel so alone.

Thank you for your comforting message.

Ta ta for now.

Nat x

You're welcome - keep in touch. I like to try and set realistic goals - like even i a have few minutes when i'm feeling "normal" ,or something in the day makes you laugh ,or  something feels good. Gradually, gradually those time get longer and eventually I hope they'll all join up.

Wouldn't it be a dreadful thing though if we lost our special people and just bounced back as if nothing had happened. It is a measure of the love we felt that makes it all hurt so much , I think.

x

Poor you - I am so sorry to hear that you are finding things hard.  You sound such a lovely person - I don't know why these things happen as they do!  

Things will improve again - mum is watching over and in a way guiding you. There are good things in life and the sun will come out again.  

We will be thinking of you and here is a big hug to such a strong person as you 

The answers are within you

Xx

This is going to sound a bit silly but I managed to pluck my eye brows today, it made me feel 'normal/better' in myself.

It just feels like everything is a struggle to even have a shower or wash the dishes! 

I can't seem to enjoy things lately, music, movies I feel absent in a way. I'm glad in a sense that this is happening to me, was going to hit sometime so why not now.

x

Hi Brighteyes,

Thank you for your very kind words. I really appreciate them.

There's a very good saying that I'm standing by and hope that it will happen for me.

'It can't rain forever'

Big hugs right back at you :)

Take Care 

Nat xx

Hiya,

Eyebrows are good - But don't do them every day!

x

Haha no no no not everyday :) just once a week if that but they needed doing X

Good morning ladies - it's a funny thing but my response to my own grief was similar. I started cutting my own hair - it's now down to a fine art. During stress or grief it turns more styled like teddy boy or 1930 classic or footballer.  During better days is back to usual! So eyebrows are a good sign! 

I found self compassion helpful at these times - that we are all the same inside. And I would feel the same grief I'd been through the same.  Yea - I would have done the same.  

Have a lovely day with glammy eyebrows nattypops 

Xx. Steven