Hi Steve, I'm so sorry for the loss of your wife, Maureen. From what you've said, she must have been in a lot of pain from the disease and the treatments. I know its' hard for you right now to be dealing with your grief and I'm sure you wouldn't have wanted her to continue to suffer like she had been, but you now have to deal with the loss of her in your life. I wish there was something I could say to make it easier for you, but there really isn't. I do know that as time goes on, the pain of her loss well be less severe and hopefully, you will be able to move on with your life, even though she will always hold a special place in your heart. I hope you have family and friends around you to help you get through this difficult time. Take the help and support they offer you now and come back on to the forum any time you need to get help from other posters who have lost loved ones to this terrible disease.
Felt the need to respond to your post as I too lost my other half (husband of 37 years, best friend for 42 yrs) just under three months ago. Grieving can be a complex and slow process and affects everyone in different ways. On the one hand I am comfortable with the knowledge that he is free of the pain that his devastating cancer diagnosis brought into his life and then on the other hand miss him dreadfully but know I have to move forward on life's journey. I am being helped by our children, our friends and this forum to go day to day through the emotional ups and downs that the loss of a loved one brings. I hope the forum can help you along your journey too. Be kind to yourself.Jules54
Thanks for your thoughts been together 36years so when out and about on my own still look for her,I know its strange as I know she's dead I talk to her in my head, and her slippers at home. I wouldn't have her back with the illness but I still miss her so much she died 2nd Jan in the best place ever Harrogate hospice. If I had a million pounds it would still not enough they did so much. Always with me ,never felt like this before thanks again Steve
Hi Steve, What you are experiencing is quite "normal"' we all cope in different ways, there is no right or wrong way. Lost hubby almost 6 months ago and I still talk to him in my head and also out loud. And can hear his responses in my head. I too have much of his stuff around the place. The time is not right for me yet to move it all on. I know he didn't want to linger any longer with what this cruel disease had done to him, But it's so hard on those left behind. A part of me is missing and will always be. I must console myself that he is no longer suffering and he would want me to enjoy every minute of what my life has to offer me. He taught me to look at the world in a different way, to appreciate nature, bird life, trees etc. I get great joy of spending time with family (always been close) and friends who remain very supportive. You are not alone on the path you are treading Steve. Please come back on here to vent, rant and rave if required. It's a necessary outlet mate. Take care Kathy
I am so sorry for the loss of your wife. My parents were together over 40 years when my mum suddenly died in 2012, my dad is utterly heart broken and still talks to her now. He was seeing a counsellor in the begining and she said after being with someone for so long it is perfectly normal to still be grieving so badly 5 or 10 years later or more as what is that compared to ver 40 years? My mum had cancer but no one, including her knew, we only found out when she was in a coma and had had a CT scan where they found widespread advanced cancer (they never found out where it had started), she died without waking up 3 hours later (before I could get there to say goodbye) Grief is the price we pay for love
