Paul L

Hi There, this is my first time on the chat line, just want to here from anyone in my position. My darling wife Dawn sadly passed away 19 June 2012, and it is still so very hard to understand or believe why, I am going round in circles, not wanting to go out but feeling upset if people don't ask me out (brothers and sisters), but then feel guilty when i do out, upset because things just carrying on the same way, I try to keep myself busy, walk our dog for hours, have a part time job, volunteer for our local hospice and ssafa, but the evenings a nightmare, how are you all coping.

  • Hi Paul,
    Re my recycling I could have put it in the bins the council pick up but would have missed out on the cash refund hence my returning it myself.  Sorry if I was unclear.
    All empty drink vessels are returnable, soft drink and beer cans,  milk drink cartons, plastic water bottles etc.  they pay 10c per vessel which of course encourages people to recycle. So far I think South Aust is the only state that does it.  Charities collect the aluminium ring pulls too so before crushing I chose to remove them.  At the moment my friends and myself are saving them to purchase a new electric wheelchair for a local child.  He has one supplied by the govt but would love an electric one.  Not really necessary but a nice to do thing.
    I am sure Sheba will be looked after very well at the kennels,  I know my sisters dog appears not to want to come home after his stays.  
    At the moment I have stew cooking to take to the kids for tomorrow nights tea.  I will make dumplings as it is reheated tomorrow so saves them from having to cook before heading out later.  Will be a nice warming meal as the winter weather kicks in.  Bread and butter pudding will be dessert.
    Lots of rain today which is great for the garden.  12 ducks in the pond next door.  The grandkids will have such fun feeding them on their sleepover here weekend after next.  Will need to fill up the feed tubs from supplies in the shed in preparation.  When the kidlets visit can take them to local school and use the playground as it will still be school hols.  School is 5 mins away, maybe even take a picnic if weather dry.
    Tomorrow morning I am calling into my old boss en route to the kids place.  She has an issue with her landline so we will call the supplier from her place and she can give me authority to speak on her behalf.  Her landline is connected to a medi alert system so she really needs it and a 5 day wait is not acceptable.  She rang me this morning quite agitated and as she was out all day at medical appts today I will call in on her tomorrow and hopefully get a good resolution.  If not I know how to escalate the call and get her issue sorted asap.  I can stamp my little foot when required, at the same time you catch more flies with honey than vinegar....
    I am sure we will chat again before you head off on Monday.  Hope the pizzas turn out well, hope you send a pic.  Will see if I can do same with cheese scones kidlets and I intend baking on Sat.
    Enjoy your sunshine
    Kathy x

     

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    Little George's pizza,, his classic Ham, chicken, sausage finished with a sprinkle of cheese. I was so Impressed, will never but another pizza, just get little George round.

     

  • Dear Kathy,

    Have just lost my full reply to you, so sorry but it's time for me  to go out with Sheba then off to work , sorry will try again after work, sorry

    Take great care

    Paul x x 

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    Hi Kathy,

    It so annoying when you have lost a full reply, is it the system, or is it me, don't know, and you think it would be easy to replicate what you have written, but for some reason I know it won't be the same. 

    George's pizza was amazing, even though you would think I was trying to poison him as he wanted to taste all the ham, cheese and chicken that went onto his pizza, but it tasted amazing, so thank you for the idea and the tips, they worked a treat. His dad was impressed with the photos but not happy we didn't save him any, so next time we shall make two, but there may still be nothing left.

    You never cease to amaze me with your thoughtfulness and kindness, what a wonderful thing you are doing for that young lad, you have such a big heart and should be commendd. As with your old boss helping her with her landline emergency call system, it makes you wonder somtimes what priorities authorities have, you would think it would be top of the pile.

    How did you get on with the chaps and their quotes hope you got the price you where working on, I have problems with my drivers car seat, keeps dropping only a little bit it's not right, the cocky chap at the service centre was trying to tell me it was normal, so walked away before I got angry and sent an email to the customer service centre, explaining I was an highly qualified engineer and know about mechanics, and being a driving instructor, know about safe driving, hence I will be having a new seat fitted, going to call in on the way to work to organise a date and time, hope it's the same guy I first spoke to.

    Hope there is a WiFi arEa so I can send a posting while on holiday, that would be nice, could send you one of George's photos, see how it's goes.

    Stew and dumplings, just love stew and dumplings, can be a real fat bot when it's on the menu, always go round twice, but it's os nice isn't it.

    Got to get to work so, will sign off and hope it doesn't disappear.

    Take great care Kathy

    Paul x x 

  • Hi Paul,
    Wow loved the pic of young Georges pizza.  As you say why buy them anymore when you can make your own to suit your tastes.
    I returned this afternoon from the country after a lovely 2 days baby sitting.  Dog was pleased to see me, and cat quite vocal.  Both have headed off to bed for a snooze.  Dog ate better this time thankfully.
    I will send a pic separately of the cheese scones.  We had such fun making them and the bread and butter pudding.  The littilies had never cracked an egg before but everything comes with practice and even though a messy experience it's the only way to learn.  The family enjoyed the stew and dumplings I provided on Friday and the last leftovers were enjoyed for lunch today.  Stew like a curry improves with age.
    The plan is the little ones will sleepover next weekend ( the con is it is dependant on their behaviour in the coming week) but they will be here.  The 4 yr old wants to sleep on the magic (sofa) bed, the 2 yr old wants to sleep in the water bed.  Guess we can do 1st night on one and 2nd on the other.
    On the Sat morn I woke to find toaster not working...then the kettle....and TV.  Lights were ok.  After spending ages searching outside of the property looking for power box had to bite the bullet and call son.  Safety switch had tripped.  Eventually I discovered power cords and extension in shed had water damage due to heavy rain and leaks so once I removed those plugs from sockets was able to reset switch and all was well.  Phew thankfully freezer was all ok. 
    Rodney the rooster charged at me, had a fishing net on pole as deterrent , cheeky blighter.  The kids have 2 roosters and 5 hens.  In the chook shed at night, but allowed to roam around the property during daylight.  Rodney is a bit mean spirited, there's a difference between protecting the girls and being aggressive so don't forecast a long life for him.  Come spring and summer the kids won't be allowed to play in the garden unless an adult is standing guard.
    There is a back lawn enclosed area clothes line etc but you can't plant anything there as the dog is a digger so kids can play there but not weed, garden etc.Their dog is a Rottweiler x kelpie and can easily bowl the little one over unintentionally.
    Was so hoping Argentinian Moto GP would be televised at a more civilised time tonight.... but no another 4.30am race, ah well no one is forcing me to get up and watch it, it's my choice.  My mum and 2 sisters Skyped me tonight as eldest sis couldn't believe Valentino Rossi was still racing.  He's only 37, just a baby just being competing a long time and good on him.  To have a job you love, magic.
    When are you getting car seat replaced?  Don't some plonkers give you the horrors.  There is nothing wrong with being safety conscious, most important as you well know.
    My old boss had a great resolution to complaint and was all sorted by Friday avo.  I must make time to see her more often.
    Have hubbys CD player now picked up from sons today.  First 2 CDs stopped working -error so seeing if 3rd plays all the way through.  Son said to DIL "guess mum doesn't know you can play CDs on DVD player and on laptop" my reply " don't confuse me".  Will be great to take music out front while I am out there gardening and inflict my taste on neighbours !!!!
    Re The quotes not sure if latest one is quoting for repairs really required as is more than double the other one.  They say wooden facia at back of house is splitting but to my eye is not lifting or rotting???  Side one is warped so I can understand replacing that one.
    I think once I am gone the house will be sold to a developer and town houses or units built on the land so am thinking along the lines of do what I want to do and need to do for security and maintenance but cosmetic stuff???  Maybe I overthink things sometimes.
    Mail which I retrieved today from Friday is an invite from local palliative care team to a remembrance service in May for those who have passed Oct 2014 - March 2015.  Involves names being  read out and opportunity to light a candle.  Don't know how I feel about this.  Invite itself upset me after a lovely time away.  May be healthy although upsetting to attend.  It's in mid May and also opportunity to invite others to attend eg in laws, son and family and friends.  I don't feel I need a public service to allow me to grieve.  Maybe will chat to a few mates about it before making a decision.
    Anyway Paul hope you have a great time in Filey and the weather will be kind to you.
    Have a great time and enjoy,
    Kathy xx
     

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    Hi Kathy,

    It's sounds like you had great time with the little ones, but I knew you would, I think my grandchildren are a bit better behaved with me, but they can twist their mum round their finger, but they on the other hand, I'd do spoil them, I wonder what would happen if I let George loose cracking an egg, but as you say, it's a learning curve, so you can only expect a little mess, and your so right about the stew, it's so much nicer, just wished it lasted a little long, sorry that's me being greedy.

    Kathy you have set me off again, our next bake will be cheese scones, they look so nice, I'm not being funny but I think I can smell them, feel hungry again. Little George won't sleep over, he always wants his mum, dad or brother, although he said he would sit with me as we drive to Filey, but we shall have to wait and see, surpose it's nice he wants to be with mum or dad though.

    We had a  similar problem when we moved into our new house in Nottingham, all the down stair lights were not working, we called out an electrician, he flicked the trip switch and charged us £35, won't make that mistake again. Children and technology, smarty pants arn't they, even little George shows me things on the iPad , it's just amazing how quick they pick things up, hope he's as good when he starts real school.

    You always have to question what is the best thing when having quotes, the most economical thing to do without waisting money on a cheap job dont you, I feel quite lucky I can do most things myself, but facia's, drains, exterior repair is usually left to the professionals. But it is always good to have the thoughts of others isn't it, I'm sure you will do the right thing.

    So sorry you were upset about the rememberance service, it does catch you out sometimes dos'nt it, bt you are one of the strongest ladies I know, and once again I know you will do the right thing, which ever path you choose, my thoughts will be with you, I think a lot about what you said once about how our love ones are with us always, although they are not here in body they will always be with us, always there if we need them, I still ask Dawn what to do, and apologize when I get a little tipsy or do something silly, We shall always be together.

    Kathy you are such a positive lady, you have helped me, only wish I could help you in some way, feel a bit guilty, knowing you have been hurting, but without sounding horrible , if anyone can be strong, positive and do the right thing it is you.

    Take great care of yourself, will be in touch soon.

    Kind regards Paul x x 

     

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      Hi Kathy,

    Sorry about this, but I have just been siting here feeling sorry for myself, but Sheba is laying beside me snoring like  so loud, it makes me feel so happy she is so content, I seem to feel so privaliged to be part of her life, these pets of of ours are such a God send, I think Sheba is trying to tell me things, what is your thoughts 

    i could make up things  for nmyself, but your knowledge is more sensible than most. 

    Take care Paul x x 

     

     

  • Hi Paul,
    I am sorry you are feeling so low.

    Sheba obviously adores you and feels so secure in your company.  Animals are a great judge of character.  Maybe she is trying to tell you everything will be ok.  You will be ok at the end of the day.
    I am just going to grab a coffee and compose a longer reply,
    Kathy x
     

  • Back again, at least my hands are warm nursing the mug of coffee.  It's chilly so am sitting on the sofa with a blanket over my knees.
    Hope you all packed for your trip.  I am sure you will have a great time with the family and especially the young ones.
    Getting away will blow away the cobwebs and you will return rejuvenated and refreshed.
    I didn't make it to bed last night, snoozed on the sofa waiting for the race to start, woke up for the start, saw the first few laps, fell asleep again and missed the rest grrrr.  It will be replayed later so will watch it then.
    I wish the personal messaging facility was available, would be happy to call you on the phone.  Then you could hear my singsongy Scottish accent and that in itself would make you laugh.
    Overheard grandson telling grand daughter to stop bellyaching at the weekend, had a grin to myself, as that's not a word the parents use but one of mine.  We do have such an influence over the littilies.  He told me I was very old as have lines on my forehead, I replied they are laughter lines
    Well Paul will sign off, have managed to misplace a notebook and last years handbag diary so better get a hoof on and start looking.
    Hope you are ok
    Kathy x