Hi there again Kathy, sorry about my last post to you, I am offloading my thoughts to you but you have enough to think about with your son's wedding coming up, with all you have to think about in preparing yourself for that magical day it is wrong for me to burden you, I am truely sorry, please forgive me, I must think more before I type away. Once again, so sorry, take care, kind regards Paul x 

Hi Paul,
Don't be a plonker (have watched too many episodes of only fools and horses).  You have not burdened me at all.  
This is the place to offload and goodness knows I have done enough of it.
Just composing a longer message so bear with me.
Kathy 
 

Hi Paul,
Hope you are feeling better.  How is the tooth?  Just tried to send you another pic of Dice but it's not working or it's just the operators lack of know how...
Glad you got the tap issue fixed.
Visited the in laws tdy which was nice, we turned TV on at 3 pm to watch the chase and the 2 of them promptly fell asleep.  Gee I must be really boring company....
Took an equagel cushion up for MIL which prevents bedsores ( I had two for hubby) as used on recliner, outdoor chair and wheelchair and thought would save me running from one to the next when he was still able to walk)
As she has bedsore on heel from hospitalisation I thought we could avoid one ( on bot) due to sitting too long as she gets up during the night and sleeps in recliner.
They mentioned they wanted to get her a stick, I smiled and said got one you can have, then mentioned they were thinking of getting a circulation booster for feet, guess what.... I smiled and said got one you can have.  So a few goodies I will take up on next visit.  
When I got home ( been away for 8 hours) Dice came in and promptly fell asleep on bed.
MIL has issue with swollen legs weeping after hip replacement.  She is not heavy so a vein or cardio issue.
DIL (to be) will drop in on them on Thurs for a visit.    She lives a further 40 km away from them.  She is a good girl.
Tomorrow I will look for dress to wear at wedding. 11 more sleeps till family arrive.  I feel like a kid on countdown to Christmas.  Oh my goodness there will be some cup pas and talking around the kitchen table.  I feel the kitchen is the hub of the home and have great memories of being a child with a Rayburn in the kitchen which you could cook on and also heated the water for baths.
Good on you for having date for skyjump.  I think you are very brave.  I couldn't do it.  I get wobbly stepping on a kitchen stool.
How's Sheba? Does she snore?
Went to bed last night and cat turned on touch lamp, little minx and after getting his cuddles snuggled down on bed but I unfortunately couldn't reach to turn it off. Grrrrr.
Your weather should be improving now.  Do people have rain water tanks over there?
I don't know how to put it.  To lose a loved one is so cruel, but we must go on.  It's like part of you is missing and it is, but we have to be strong and keep on going.  We have to be thankful we knew that person and are so much enriched end by that experience, and they have helped us in maturing into the people we are now.  I don't know if this making any sense...but we have to keep plodding on and we do.
Cat becoming quite vocal these days, it's 1.45 am and no way can he com into letting him out.  Good try though.
Well Paul, I will bid you goodnight and head to bed soon.  All the best
Kathy x

j

[[]]Dice on bed

Hi Kathy, thank you for being so understanding, it was a while after I posted my reply when I though what an idiot, fancy writing that, so I thought it was only right to send one saying sorry, but deep down I did think you would understand. My tooth ache has gone along with my tooth, lunch time today, but just bit into an apple and nearly hit the roof, think I have a hole in my tooth, at the top near the back, so sensitive, I am also off the paracetamol now so we shall see tomorrow if my cold has gone. Oh my god, just over a week till your house is full of love, laughter and tea bags, none of you will need a bed, you will be catching up all night, you are a very tough lady and you will be OK, my thoughts and good wishes will be with you. 

You asked if Sheba snores, she does actually, but it's a nice snore if that makes sense it's a sort of a purry type of snore, she really is good for me, so understanding, and so loveable, I lay awake at night listening to her breath, (purr,)snore)). And she is keeping me fit, I have a lot to be thankful for. 

Your last paragraph was word perfect, it is everything you said and more, have you ever thought of taking this sort of thing for a living, there is a lot of people out there that need someone like you, and you would be totally amazing, bringing so many people out of a deep sadness, I can see you name in the paper now "Kathy the Bereavement specialist awarded MBE for her work" seriously you have a great sense of humour, a way with words and speech, strong, and sadly the experience. Think about it please.

Rayburn oh my goodness, we had a Rayburn, I used to clear the ash away and grind it up into powder, and I'm sure my dad used to scatter it on the garden and add water to paint the fruit trees, or was I dreaming that bit, but I don't think so, you are a garden expert, bet you know if it's a help in some way to the garden.

Been driving the hospice bus today, took three to the hospice in wheelchairs, and it was Rose's birthday a few days ago, she asked if I had been given any birthday cake, I said I had not seen any so, when I went to pick her up to take her home, she had some wrapped up for me, now wasn't that really nice, such lovely people all of them.

Take great care of yourself Kathy, by the time you get this there shall be only ten more sleeps yippee.

Kind regards Paul x, by the way did get the picture, Dice looks nice and relaxed, funny but that's how Sheba is laying right now.....

Hi Paul. I did try and send you a message last night but lost it. My error not website.
It's so strange sitting inside and shows temp at 28 can handle hotter  weather better.. But too Scottish to put cooler on. Then again maybe I should.... I used to be indecisive but now I don't know..."
Thank you for your very kind words.    I could not train to be a councillor, it would take too many years and to much psychobabble involved. I just believe in speaking from the heart and if I can get the message across that's all good.
It is a bit hard through written text as the receiver can't see the eye contact and body language but that's life.
Had a few mates around for lunch and made home made pizzas.  Now too late to make home made dog food, but that will 
 be job for tomorrow.
10 more sleeps, can hardly contain myself. Don't know if I have told you of how this came bout - the family coming across- happy to tell you the story of how it's happened another time.  Don't want to bore you.
Just turned over to the Brit awards  no idea who the gobeens presenting it were, must say Madonna  for an old chook performed very well.  

Best wishes, Kathy x
 

Hi Kathy, didn't think I explained myself very well with regards to helping other poeple, when I go to the hospital Saturdays the volunteers there only have  twelve days training, basically learning what not to say, so I've been told, but because they have experienced the heartache they immediately understand how the other person is feeling and have the ability to give guidance and reassurance on what may lay ahead, but as you say your heart speaks for you and your compassion to help would reassure anyone, sorry i didnt want to sound pushy, it's just the way you have helped me, that's the reason I praise you so much. 

The last couple of days have been different, Sheba was jumping around on the bed while I was trying to set up to do a bit of ironing, so joined in around the edge of the bed, poor Sheba got so excited she wet herself, that will teach me,  so packed up,the ironing and because our cover blanket is huge I had to wash it in the bath, so glad it wasn't raining, so I could hang it out, and today when I picked George up from school he was sobbing, so off we went home and he was not well at all, I managed to get him to eat his lunch, but he was so teary I put him in our bed, he was asleep in five minutes, really felt for him. 

It's a long day in the office tomorrow, Mark pops in to let Sheba out and feed her so she's ok then it's home, a walk with Sheba and a bottle of red when I settle down the the next day it's hospital day, I do like to go along, as you have pointed out when we are chatting you can see their concern you can hear the compassion in their voice, hand there is h hug if anyone needs it, and it doesn't matter if there are tears, they are wonderful  Poeple.

How many of your family are coming over, sounds like the whole clan wil be there, well the more the merrier and it will make you and your son feel so proud, you will have a great time , and the very best to you all and I know you will enjoy every minute of each hour that passes, guess who tought me that.

Take great care of yourself, kind regards Paul 

Hi Paul,
You poor thing having to wash the big blanket.  how long did it take to dry. Poor Sheba too , getting so excited.
How's young George?
Mum (88) and 2 sisters ,63 and 57 coming.  I have 4 sisters and 1 brother and we are very close.  I intend going home in June 2017 for mums 90th, all going well and we will all be together for that special occasion.
Back in Feb 2014 when the kids set the date I asked if anyone from the family would be able to be here (I plan things well in advance).  Unfortunately the answer then was no, mum too old and the girls wouldn't be able to get time off work.  I did understands

 as it is a long journey. So that was that.  I was a wee bit disappointed but accepted it.
In November ( I returned to work 03/11) knowing that I was being retrenched with the rest of the dept I emailed home offering 2 return tickets for any other family members to come across for the wedding.  I thought it would be nice for the kids to have someone from my side of the family there.
Lo and behold next morning mother rang asking if there was room for 3 visitors.  I was beside myself, so happy, but wait there's more....  They had actually made the booking when hubby passed away but were not going to tell me till Christmas thinking my spirits would need a lift.  How marvellous are they.???  I am so very fortunate to be so loved.
I managed to motivate myself today and go to the shops to look for a wedding outfit.  I was quite disappointed at the materials being used and poor stitching as well as plastic zips and that was in a posh shop.  
Cut a long story short I found a dress which I will be able to wear again at a good price.  Yes there will lots of cuppas and chatting going on.  I will be packing so much into those hours.  One sis is a real night owl so I think it will mean late nights and early rises for me.  Mum would like to visit Adelaide museum and one sis would like a visit to the wineries.  Quiz nights are on the agenda and lots of time with the young ones. Ten pin bowling has been mentioned on the to do list and of course spending time with hubby's family.

better send this before I have probs.

Kathy xx

Hi Kathy, just got over a bad couple of days, really down on the dumps, just couldn't seem to lift myself out if my gloom, but feeling better now. I really am so lucky to have Sheba, she does try to help, bless her, but last night she was a right wally, because it had been raining I didn't fancy walking over the fields, so walked along the canal bank, Sheba was running up and down, in front and behind me when suddenly, she thought I will give old misery guts something to laugh about, she jumped in the canal, soon turned around and got out, it must have been freezing, silly girl, but we got home, gave her a real rub down and soon we where cuddled up on the settee. I honestly think she does those things to cheer me up.

It sounds as though you have a wonderful family, it is going to be a magical time when you are all together, the excitement will keep you going while your family are with you, bet you sleep solid for days after they have gone home. It's going to be quite special for your son and in laws to have everyone together,. There will be some emotional times but you are a very strong lady and I know hubby will be there with you every single minute, I sincerely hope it is a magical day for you all.

I have two brothers and three sisters, we do try to get together every other month for a meal, but usually I back out, but I do feel (and its with your help, to be more positive) I must try a little harder to socialise a little more must meet up and stop feeling sorry for myself. The two elder sisters 67, 65, are very outgoing, the eldest is over in Australia now with her daughter, Brisbane , they have been over ther a month now so should be back end of this month, then my other sister and two brothers are younger, I'm 63, then it's 56, 54 and the baby being 45, sadly mum and dad have passed away, they both worked very hard, but dad was very strict, but then none of us where ever in trouble so it was a good thing, think those people at that time (born 1920's ish had a hard life), 

Sheba is fast asleep now after our walk, so I think it's time for something to eat then  watch England Ireland rugby. 

I rang up Thursday evening to see how George was, he was fine, but didn't want to go to bed, but then rang in the morning and he was back to his usual self, fighting with his little brother Henry over a toy, they have hundreds of toys but always want the same one. They never fight when granddad has got them, think mums too soft, but it won't help in the long term, but can't interfere.

 Really do appreciate our chats, it does help, but never want to burden you, I know you have lots to do in this up and coming week and will be fully engrossed in you family and the wedding, so please enjoy your family, we can hopefully catch up after that amazing wedding day and you have recovered from exhaustion, and that's a nice sort of exhaustion 

Take great care Kathy kind regards Paul x

Hi Paul,
Just typed you a huge email and lost it grrrr.
From memory, how amazing our pets are, so intuitive.  Did laugh at your tale of Sheba in the canal, guess she had frozen assets. 
I understand how hard it is to force yourself to go out, I do too but don't want to let my mates down so push myself to do so.
If you are ever feeling down, please Paul come on the site.  There will be someone on line who can offer empathy and support.  I honestly don't know where I would be without the love and support of this chat sites members.
Lady up the road,  my new friend saw me out the front chopping back a bush and came over.  She desperately needed to vent which was all good so came out the back where we chatted.  She lives with one of her children and it can't always be easy.  She has my phone number but as I am usually home she knows she can just arrive unannounced, there is nothing I can't postpone (especially housework)' always glad of an excuse to stop.  She stated I have come into her life at the right time.  Isn't that sweet.
I really should start wearing gardening gloves or I will going to the wedding with the hands of a navvy.
Plenty more chopping to do but little by little I will get there.
So excited at family's impending arrival, but also aware of a big deflation after the visit. But will face that then, not before.  This will be the last visit for mum and these 2 siblings as they are not getting any younger and its a long journey.
In the meantime I plan to pamper them, what joy.
Better sign off before I lose this message, that would really cheese me off.
Take care Paul, big hugs to you and Sheba, give her a pat from me if you don't mind.
Kathy x

Hi Paul,
Just typed you a huge email and lost it grrrr.
From memory, how amazing our pets are, so intuitive.  Did laugh at your tale of Sheba in the canal, guess she had frozen assets. 
I understand how hard it is to force yourself to go out, I do too but don't want to let my mates down so push myself to do so.
If you are ever feeling down, please Paul come on the site.  There will be someone on line who can offer empathy and support.  I honestly don't know where I would be without the love and support of this chat sites members.
Lady up the road,  my new friend saw me out the front chopping back a bush and came over.  She desperately needed to vent which was all good so came out the back where we chatted.  She lives with one of her children and it can't always be easy.  She has my phone number but as I am usually home she knows she can just arrive unannounced, there is nothing I can't postpone (especially housework)' always glad of an excuse to stop.  She stated I have come into her life at the right time.  Isn't that sweet.
I really should start wearing gardening gloves or I will going to the wedding with the hands of a navvy.
Plenty more chopping to do but little by little I will get there.
So excited at family's impending arrival, but also aware of a big deflation after the visit. But will face that then, not before.  This will be the last visit for mum and these 2 siblings as they are not getting any younger and its a long journey.
In the meantime I plan to pamper them, what joy.
Better sign off before I lose this message, that would really cheese me off.
Take care Paul, big hugs to you and Sheba, give her a pat from me if you don't mind.
Kathy x

Hi Kathy, isn't it terrible when you have writen two or three nice paragraphs and you loss them, i have done the same usually blame it on the ipad but deep down i know its me. All animals have this wonderful sence of being don't they they know when something is wrong and they do help if possible with cuddles and just being there when you need them, i am aware how good Sheba is for me and must reward her more.

It is wonderful how you are helping so many poeple, you are a good listener and assist with the perfect advice, well done Kathy be proud of yourself, told you, you had the gift. 

Its amazing the outlook you have on life, here is me stating you will need two days sleep to catch up when your family have returned home, and your look on that is i will give my family the best time ever and and will worry about myself later. You have a big heart Kathy , good on you.

Sheba and i are off out now as its Treetops later on today, i'm off to a meeting about the bus driving then taking a lady home from the bereavment centre, we are not told of their, circumstances, but obviously chat as we drive to their home. Hope the centre is helping her. Then tomorrow i'm off to see another retired soldier who has had cancer but got through it, fantastic to hear isn't it, this guy just want's help to get back to work, how amazing, so we shall have a chat on his options and get him on a course of his choosing and hopefully his life can begin once more, What a brilliant guy, i have lots of time for people like that, then Thursday it's little George, so keeping busy, and that help's so much as you know.

Sheba keeps giving me a nudge, thinks she want to go for a run.

Take great care Kathy, and once again thank you for being there for me, aprt from a little glitch here and there i am getting stonger, Thank you.

Kind regards Paul x