im 15 years old and my mom just died from lung cancer!! and i beat myself up everyday because of it i feel like i couldve been a better daughter or i couldve helped more so she wouldnt haave died so soon. i miss my mom everyday and i dont know how to deal with it and none of my friends know what to say so they go on with life and think im okay but im not. im dead inside and i cant go on living. i think of suicide like every single day i cant deal with the pain. my mom was such an amazing influence on my life. and not to add to the stress or anything but my aunts thought it would be a good idea to put me in a foster home that i am so unhappy with but my brother likes it so i dont say anything. i didnt have a father but my aunts couldve easily took me in. i also am having trouble with coming out to people im a lesbian and i have only told close friend but i want to telll everyone i know but i dont want to lose people i know and care about. so there is so much crap going on in my life and i cant move on from my mom death and shes been gone for 2 months now. but im sick and tired with life and i hate it. i am also having trouble in school cause i cant focus on anything and i have no motivation in my life anymore i dont care what happens anymore. i have found out that i also may have cancer, bone cancer. and i dont even care usually i would freak out but i dont even care that i have a tumor on my femur. i need help i know i do but no one is helping.