Hi RYRY184, I just read your post and my heart aches for you. If I was close to you, I would hold you in my arms and give you the comfort you so desperately need. You say you lost your Mom 2 months ago. That loss is still so fresh that you can't possibly recover from that yet. You need to take more time to grieve for your Mom and you need help to do that. Added to all of the heartache for you is that you are in a foster home away from family, and likely friends too. You must have a social worker looking after things for you and your younger brother. Please talk to your social worker and tell her you need help and support for what you're going through. What about the foster family that you and your brother are living with? Can they help you get through this? Please reach out for the help you need. I know people should know that things are difficult for you and your brother right now and that help should be given to you without you having to ask for it, but sometimes people don't always think when they have other things on their mind. I used to be a foster Mom and I looked after many children at that time. Please give people a chance to help you.

You say you have thought about suicide; please reach out for help before you do anything to end your life. Dying by suicide never solves a problem for anyone and just causes more problems for everyone. What would your little brither do without you in his life? You also say you are a lesbian; that doesn't change the fact that you are still a very important person, regardless of your sexual orientation. I have a neice and a nephew who are gay and they are two very special people in my life. You have so much going on for a young person your age, losing your Mom, ending up in a foster home, discovering that you are lesbian, and on top of all that, your fear that you may have cancer. That is way too much for anyone to handle alone, much less a young person your age. Losing your Mom to cancer is not your fault; no way. No matter what you did or didn't do, you could not have changed that terrible thing from happening. Cancer robs many people of their lives every day and it isn't fair when children are left after a parent dies.

Please keep posting on this forum to let us know how you are doing. I will worry about you until I know you have received some help for what you are going through. People on here are very caring and supportive people and you can come on here anytime and just write what you are feeling.

Take care and hugs to you.

Lorraine   

Ryry ....  I am so very sad to read your post and see all the suffering you are going through - I cant really add anything to what Brian and Lorraine have said to you except that The Samaritans are on a phoneline 24/7 and you will always find a kind person to talk to there, even in the middle of the night. We are here for you too sweetheart. Please please try and talk to someone - maybe a teacher at school and tell them how you are feeling - and keep yourself safe for your little brother who is also suffering. Wish I could hug you and share your pain. Keep in touch  -  Max x

thank you and  i may have to reach out to the samaritans 

thank you and  i may have to reach out to the samaritans