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Losing my darling Tony is so painful.He died in my arms  on Feb 5th this year ,he was diagnosed with terminal mesethelioma in 2010 had chemo and radio therapy then he was told he had kydney desease he had a fistula in his arm this failed he had 2 more these also failed his kidneys were working at 18 percent luckily he didnt need dialysis we had been married for 40 wonderful years he was so very brave he was in hospital for two weeks he had to have fluid drained from his tummy but was able to come home and was with us for 6 days on a syringe driver and our doctor gave him an injection to keep him calm he just slept away I feel totaly lost and lonely tearful angry and iI have lost the love of my life x

  • Hello again so glad you had good care and support today It makes such a difference dosnt it .I must just tell you Tonys favourite colour was yellow so back in march I planted a lovely yellow rose in his memory I had hoped it would flower for fathers day but no it did have lots of buds so today I let Rusty my greyhound and button the cat out first thing and noticed it was in flower and its so beautifull I t did cheer me up I just wishTony was here to see it  its been a a beautifull day in Cornwall today 20 degs and sunny he would sit outside on a good day sleepy with a beautifull contented smile on his lovely face ,hope to chat again soon it does help knowing we arnt alone big hugs x

  • Hi

    You are in a lovely part of the country (many holidays spent in that county)!  Strange you should choose a yellow rose to plant.  We have a yellow rose in our front garden here in Middlesex which was planted in memory of my hubby's Mum over 20 years ago.  It is still flowering (out now in fact) and always has lots of buds coming along throughout the summer. I love the garden (especially sitting in it!!) but hubby is an indoors man unless he is sea fishing (used to go out from Penzance or Looe a couple of times a year).  Last trip out was from Looe with his fishing friends just after diagnosis in Feb 2012..  A few weeks back he went freshwater fishing with our son and had a lovely day and my son took some lovely photos which I am very grateful for. We have had a good day weatherwise today and at last able to leave the patio doors open into the evening.  Hubby watching a 'fishing' programme on tv and I am listening to the birds as I type. So peaceful and pretty relaxing. Tomorrow  am into work (just a part timer - 3 days a week) so expect the weather will be good!!!  Take care and good talking to you again.  Jules xx

  • Hi Susananne, Have finally tracked you down. Just a short note to let you know I am thinking of you. This time of the year will not be easy for you (what time is ). remember the good times. Tony would want you to enjoy Christmas with the family. You did all you could honey what man can ask for more. I hope the yellow rose blooms in spring again and makes you smile. Been thinking off you all day. Big hugs Kathy
  • Hello Kathy many thanks for you kind words and knowing you have lost your hubby too you have a lovely way with words and cheer so many of us up our children and grandchildren are our rocks now so christmas must be happy for them all and a brave face from me and you darling ..Take care Sueanne x
     

  • Hi Sueanne, how did you go over the festive period? I returned home tonight to a rapturous reception from pets. I think they will be stuck to me like superglue for next few days. Kathy xx
  • Hello Kathy enjoyed having the family around for Christmas dinner busy and noisey My dog Rusty a greyhound and my sons dog a Jack russel had dinner too minus the potatoes I missed Tony his last Christmas was the last day he spent downstairs with us all after that he could no longer manage due to breathlessness and fatigue then he passed away on Feb 5th we all missed him but made the most of it and I hope you had a nice time with your family too and to have your pets welcome you home is just lovely ,my Rusty is my rock now and my best friend what would we do without them they bring so much joy thankyou for thinking of me and I hope 2015brings you some happiness so Happy New Year to you and your family and pets xxxxSueanne

  • Oh I am pleased you had a Christmas after all. Your earlier post about Tony really affected me. Cancer is such a wicked thing = lets hope they find a cure soon. At least Tony is no longer suffering - my dad had mesothelioma - it was horrid watching him try to catch his breath. Thank goodness dad is at peace

    xx

  • Hi Sueanne, Is Rusty a rescue dog/ ex racer? Pets on bed waiting for me. I did miss them while away. Dog maybe ok to travel with me but would have to sleep outside shock horror, that would be a shock to his system and I'd probably get a sleeping bag and join him Our pets are so much part of the family arent they. Hope the New Year brings you good fortune. Hugs Kathy xx
  • Hello Kathy Rusty is  an ex racer I got him for Tony  he was 3 when we had him and we had 3 cats at t he time he had been cat tested and they got on fine after a few days Now I have 1 cat and she is called Button and Rusty and her are best friends she is always waiting under my car for us to come back from our walk .Rusty is 10 now 11 in April he is so good he is my rock and best friend I love him to pieces and im glad you have the company of your lovely pets to keep you company tooI have had my son wife and children Hollie and Tom Pop in for a cuppa and also a good friend Jan too and phone calls from grandchildren saying thankyou for pressies bless them Kathy I realy hope you have a Happy New Year ,take care Sueanne x

  • Hi Susanne, New year here here now and blasted fireworks still going off. Rusty sounds great. I find great difficulty saying I now instead of we, it's so hard not being part of a team.... Now the tears are starting , have been good all night till now, but am sure you understand. Tomorrow is another day. My sister is on her 2nd rescue greyhound and they sound a good thought for the future. I think I will always chose to have a dog for security and company. Tomorrow have 3 mates coming round, we will sit out back under carport which has concrete base and bit of a breeze blowing through if there is any, bit cooler than sitting under verandah. Must say I do enjoy warmer weather and find winter a pain to get through. Have too many home grown cucumbers so may need to accost strangers walking by offering them one. Tell me does Rusty have any health issues, he was young to be an ex racer dog at 3 but good he was cat friendly. Does he sleep with you? Ok will sign off for now, take care . All the best for 2015. Kathy xx