struggling to cope after my husbands death

Hi i am new here and this is the first time i have posted anything. My Husband John died on 12th of July after being diagnosed in May this year with oesophageal cancer. I just feel lost and dont seem to be able to move on. He has always been a well man and even when diagnosed they said he was stage 4 and inoperable because it had gone into his liver. He had no symptoms at all apart from a small annoying but not painful feeling in his stomach. He asked if he could take his family on holiday before starting chemo, the consultant said that nothing major would happen in the next couple of weeks. we went ahead and booked a huge family holiday in spain. 4 days after arriving i found him collapsed on the kitchen floor. we rushed him to hospital where they said he was suffering from severe pancreatitusand kept him in for 2 weeks. we flew him home and he stayed at home for a week but was still very sick. he was taken into hospital again on the sunday and after a scan on the wednesday we were told that he didnt have a healthy piece of liver left and were told that he would only surrive another few days. he passes away 4 days later. i just dont know what to do i am all on my own and cannot stop crying, the tears are streaming down my face just writing this. i need help.

  • HI Gympinkzoe, it is near impossible i know to get through each day. My partner of 10yrs  Ivana passed away on 29th oct 2017 and i am coping very poorly. She had stomach cancer and the last 12wks up to her death was terrible to see. It has changed me as a person, i dont want to go out. Each day i go through every emotion, i am starting to withdraw into myself. To watch my love go from a bubbly happy woman to a near skeleton in 12wks is beyond cruel. I would like to throw my arms around you and hope that slowly, slowly your pain will ease. We can never be the same,   this life is so cruel  All my love   Paul xx

  • Hi l lost my husband 16 months ago he passed away 3weeks after being diagnosed with lung cancer, up until then he had no symptoms it was all so quick hard for us but at least we didn't have to watch him suffer like you have had to go through, we were 2 weeks away from celebrating our ruby anniversary and had even booked a holiday, I miss him every day and the lonlines doesn't go away but I get through each day as best I can as there is no alternative. Life will never be the same for any of us that have lost our partners but I thank god that we had nearly 40 happy years together and I try and think of those happy memories, we have to be strong and we're all together in this and we can let out our emotions on this forum godbless and love to all xx
  • Hello I lost my husband on 9th November he had lung cancer he was only 37 ,he had no symptoms either he just got diagnosed in July stage 4 . I stayed with him until the end so I am widowed now at 32 . How cruel life can be in so sorry for your loss take care 

     

                       Lorraine xx

     

  • Hi Lorraine, i am so sorry to hear  about your husband  I lost my partner Ivana on the 29th oct  this year. We had been together 10yrs and she was my everything and from being a bubbly, happy lady at the begining of aug she was gone in less than 12wks.  My heart goes out to you Lorraine as i know how painful it is just getting through each hour of each day. I wish i had some magic words for you but i know this is so tough. I just try to keep eating and cleaning the house we made together(i say house because it is no longer a home, just an emptiness that is unbearable)  I cannot even think of going back to work, and i have had suicidal thoughts but i am just about hanging in there. Sleeping is near impossible and when people say give it time i know they mean well but inside it simply does not help. I am lost and broken.  My sincere love to you Lorraine as you battle your loss, i am thinking of you and send you a big hug. Please take care and if you need to talk i am here.   Love   Paul x

  • Hi Lorraine, so sorry for your loss. I just my 32 year old husband to esophageal cancer in October 17. I am 33 and have a 3 year old son. My world has changed completely and I am so broken without my husband. I was with him for 14 years and it’s a struggle to learn to live me life without him. Life is so cruel. If you ever need to talk message me. Take care and look after yourself. Xx
  • Dear Lorraine, I know exactly how you feel. My husband was 43 when he died from Lung Cancer stage 4 in Oct 2017. It is going to be 4 months soon and it feels like a bad dream sometimes. Life can be very cruel, and I wonder how my life will be w/o him. I imaged that we are gonna grow old together like the movie UP, but we didnt even got the chance to stay longer. We married in Sept 2017, and he died in Oct 2017. I am a widow at 40 and i am so scared what life will introduce later in time... Ppl say time will help, and i hope they are right. I have heard ppl healing/moving on after years, and I dont want that for me or anyone... hugs..
  • Hi srtaloo, just wanted to say hello.  I lost my partner Ivana to cancer on the 29th oct 2017 after a 12wk battle with stomach cancer. After nearly 4 months the pain is still so strong and i miss her so much with each passing hour. We were gonna get married this year and i thought we had forever. Life is so, so cruel. Please hang in there, keep eating well, you are in my thoughts. Love and a big hug   Paul xx

  • Hello I also lost my 43 years old husband on 11th January. After 24 years together and two sons were taking each day as it comes xx
  • Hello Paul, I know what you mean. Today I was reminded by FB what we were doing over Valentine's day. My only consolation is that I know he is in a better place than me w/no sufering or pain.

    please take care yourself too

    Peggy

  • Hi I too know how you are feeling,I lost my partner ray 4 weeks ago to pancreatic cancer a year after being diagnosed and 11 months after having the major Whipple surgery.after having the Whipple surgery we were told the outcome was very positive and only a short cycle of oral chemotherapy would be needed to sweep up any microscopic cells then after a routine MRI it showed there were several lesions on the liver so iv chemo would be needed but they were still hopeful as were we because ray still felt so well even though in the back of my mind being a nurse myself alarm bells were ringing knowing that in reality pancreatic cancer is one of the worst and once in the liver it is usually final.after 3 cycles of palliative chemo we were told there was nothing left to be done and it was now terminal and to expect 6 months at best,ray lasted 3 months but passed very peacefully with myself at his side leaving me a widow at 37, it all feels very raw at the moment but I know we all grieve differently and time is a great healer,I'm very lucky to have a very supportive family and friends and I cannot thank and praise the staff at the hospital enough they really are a very great team,I hope noone else has to go through this dreadful disease and loss but know plenty will unless more research is put into pancreatic cancer as it is so difficult to detect and all too often too late.