I lost my dad to cancer on Sunday 2nd March. He died at home, but before he died he asked me to promise him that I would look after my mum and that I would sort everything out. He didn't want anyone else to do it, he said and he knew mum wouldn't be able to because of losing him.

Since he died I hope that I have made him proud, I organised everything that I could, undertakers, funeral, finances, paperwork etc etc and have made sure my mum is as OK as she can be. We talk every day and I go over as often as I can too. 

Just after his funeral we discovered there had been a leak in my parents shower which had obviously been going on for a long time. Nobody had noticed as they own a Park home and had laminate flooring etc on the floor, so there was no sign. I have had to fight mums insurance company for the last few months to get it sorted!! Anyway  it has now been done and mum is very happy with it.  

I think that's why dad's death is hitting me more. Don't get me wrong, I've had days where I've really cried and felt so sad, bit today I feel worse. It's like my mind was occupied with trying to fulfil the promises I made him and now I am just really hoping that I have made him proud of me. That probably sounds stupid. Sorry for rambling on.