Hi Amanda 

I’m so sorry for your loss. My Mum passed on Friday in similar circumstances. She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer stage 3C in 2024; diagnosed late due to her GP refusing to actually do any investigative work ie no scans, no bloods etc. Mum had a brilliant oncology team who began chemotherapy and performed a hysterectomy plus debunking surgery. Whilst under the op her spleen was seen to show shadows and so this too was removed to avoid any risk. Mum responded so easily to chemo with zero side effects or issues and her Ca125 cancer levels returned to less that 30.

In November 2025 Mum was admitted to our local hospital with an inability to poo, pass wind or eat without vomiting. Various CT scans were taken but no immediate cause detected. Mum was put on bowel rest and tube fed. Unfortunately this process only ever lasted a few days before Mum would vomit and displace the tube. I lost count how many times she was down in endoscopy to have this repeated but the gastro team persisted and we trusted their process. Endoscopy tested a part of the pylorus and confirmed via biopsy that it was non cancerous.

A relief, but her CA125 rose and so her oncologist ordered further tests. A scan detected a lymph node of concern. The gastro team at the hospital advised that Mum first needed a stent before chemo could be undertaken. They told us that she needed to be eating to undergo chemo and that the stent would allow her to eat and so chemo could start. By this point Mum was still vomiting and dislodging the tube and so they moved onto TPN. Mum joined a waiting list for a stent that was to be fitted at a hospital in London, but we were advised that there was a national shortage for the piece of equipment needed. We were advised of a date of this op but the day before hadn’t been told anything of this. Remember that this stent was going to help her eat and allow her to have chemo. Mum was walking, talking, looking forward to a return to normality. It transpired that there was, and I quote, “a communication breakdown” between the two hospitals that prevented Mum having that stent. And it was given to another patient. The shortage meant a month delay before another was sourced.

Still no chemo, but Mum still Mum; positive, walking hospital corridors, chatty, alert but bored out her mind having spent 2 months in hospital! Mum had the stent fitted in late Feb and the surgeon announced it to be a success. The following date, a 5am call was received, Mum had caught covid and her o2 was down to 44%. She was placed on high rate oxygen flow and put in a side room. She had developed pneumonia. She was weak and no longer able to walk as she was before. She was exhausted and needed frequent rest. The CT post stent did not show a fix either. The blockage still existed and now they had found that Mums ovarian/peritoneal cancer was fast progressing and they broke the news that they couldn’t do anything else.

I watched Mum weaken over the course of 3 weeks; sleeping more, being less chatty, more emotional, weak. The oncologist had talked about giving chemo a try as he knew her strength and her resilience to any of chemos side effects but her weakened nature due to recovering from pneumonia and Covid meant she had to be stronger first. She never got stronger. The cancer pain became too much and she succumbed to her pain.

The rollercoaster of emotions after 5 months in hospital has been extreme. I’m struggling to grieve as it doesn’t feel real. I was there when she took her last breath but in my mind she’s still in hospital and will be home soon. Hospital failings meant my Mum was delayed treatment. The angry, the denial, the lack of understanding is overwhelming. The cancer they found was said to be small and just needed to be “zapped” but was allowed to run free under the doctors noses and despite numerous CT scans. I had to watch the strongest person I know die in pain and as angry and confused as we all were.