Hi 162, 

I am so sorry for your loss - this is truly heart-breaking and it must all still be a bit raw for you and it's difficult to see the light at the end of the long tunnel. It must be so hard for you to have to get used to life without him by your side so take the time you need to grieve and even though people mean well when they say things will get better don't put pressure on yourself to achieve this by a certain time frame. There is in-depth information on our website on coping with grief which I hope you will find helpful and which will tell you more about the complexities of the grieving process and how you can experience a range of emotions and the different stages you may go through and it's important to remember that we all grieve differently and there is no one way to grieve really but what your husband used to say could be a good principle to follow now too, to take "one day at a time" and try if you can to fill your days with things you enjoy even though it might not be easy to do so at the moment. The fact that it happened so suddenly makes it all the harder and I hope that you have some good friends and family around you to support you, have a cup of tea and a chat with you during this intensely emotional time. It's normal to miss him so much and I just wanted you to know that you are not alone and that so many other members of our community feel just like you having lost a partner and finding it really hard to cope and I hope that they will come and comfort you and share their story with you. 

If you feel that you need to talk to your GP about how you are feeling or that you need some help, don't hesitate to give your doctor a call and explain your situation and I am sure that they will have some good suggestions for you to help you in the coming weeks and months. 

We are all here for you so don't hesitate to use the forum too as a safe space to talk to others who have also been or currently find themselves in a similar situation after the loss of a loved one. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator