Lost: my husband passed away on 4th November

Hi my husband passed away on 4th November just over 3 months later if being told he had brain and lung cancer.

I am completely lost without him he died at home early hours of the morning I just wish I could of done something to ease or take his pain away I miss him so much I've still got 11 days til the funeral does it get any easier xx 

Parents
  • Hi flips71

    I lost my husband 2 months ago. We were told he would have about 2 years left, but he died 10 days later.

    I feel your pain. I know it is hard. It's harder than anything I have ever gone, going through.

    I'm functioning but sad.  For me, preparation for the funeral was like the last thing I was able to do for him. Somehow that helped.

    But after the funeral everyone around me started to carry on with there lives and i did feel forgotten. 

    I try to plan something each day, I do this because I can't spend a whole day on my own in the home we made together without getting upset. 

    It might be a walk with my dogs, a grocery shop, or going around mindlessly a garden centre. All these things I used to do, they feel different now.  No longer am I putting his favourite foods in my trolley and that upset me. Going back to an empty house is very hard. I leave a radio on when I go out, that way when I come home it isn't so quiet. 

    I talk to friends and family and sound fine but I'm broken inside.

    I don't know when this gets easier but people say it does. I hope so. 

Reply
  • Hi flips71

    I lost my husband 2 months ago. We were told he would have about 2 years left, but he died 10 days later.

    I feel your pain. I know it is hard. It's harder than anything I have ever gone, going through.

    I'm functioning but sad.  For me, preparation for the funeral was like the last thing I was able to do for him. Somehow that helped.

    But after the funeral everyone around me started to carry on with there lives and i did feel forgotten. 

    I try to plan something each day, I do this because I can't spend a whole day on my own in the home we made together without getting upset. 

    It might be a walk with my dogs, a grocery shop, or going around mindlessly a garden centre. All these things I used to do, they feel different now.  No longer am I putting his favourite foods in my trolley and that upset me. Going back to an empty house is very hard. I leave a radio on when I go out, that way when I come home it isn't so quiet. 

    I talk to friends and family and sound fine but I'm broken inside.

    I don't know when this gets easier but people say it does. I hope so. 

Children
  • Sorry for your loss 10 days that's so sad we was told 3 months without treatment unfortunately he cudnt have it n got just over 3 months the last 2 data were the worst tho,I can still hear his pain in my head when it's quiet X I've lost my dad and aunt last yr not cancer and then hubby 2 weeks ago I think someone got it in for me up there x

  • Hi , sorry for your loss, my partner passed away last month, how are you getting on? 
    I’m struggling putting into words how to feel and wgat to say, people say about being strong and doing well, I’m really not, days are long nights are longer and harder, is there’s anything that helps? 

  • Hi flip

    I am so sorry to read about your loss.

    I totally understand how you are feeling. 

    People say I am strong too, also things that seem so flippant.

    I find doing some familiar things helps. I do the same routine I did with my husband. I eat dinner at the same time, and watch the news then the chase then the one show.  It might seem strange but it helps me.

    Crying has slowed down, I don't cry every day now but when I do I find it hard to stop. 

    I too can still remember clearly the last 10 days of his life. The agony he went through still does re runs in my head. 

    I try to replace the thoughts with positive ones but it is hard to do. 

    I have found out I have bowel cancer and the thought of him not being with me breaks me. 

  • Hi there sorry for your loss and also that you have found out you got bowel cancer life surely does suck at times does it 

    At min I'm putting all my effort into selling our old house and my mom's so that's taking my time up at min x 

  • Hi Diane sorry for your loss ,Christimas was particularly hard as he used to do everything over the Xmas period so we have had to manage it ourselves but at min I'm putting all my energy into getting our old house and my mom's sold so that's keeping me busy x 

  • That is a lot of  hard work sorting everything out.I hope it all goes smoothly for you.

    I hope it helps keep all the sadness at bay whilst you are busy. I know how tiring being sad and crying can be. 

    Take care. 

  • Yeah it has altho this month is our daughters 18th so that's going to be a hard one for her not having her dad around for it and one of his other daughters is expecting a baby any day soon again going to be hard x 

  • Clickoff so sorry to hear that, I don’t know what to say to you, if you want to chat just a message away,  can’t bring myself to even watch the same programs we used to watch together yet, 

    sleeping and eating is  a problem still, constant feel sick, so trying to eat little and often but still sick, I’m going to try go back to work next week to get in to a routine maybe sleep and eat better? But them I have people saying are you ready for that? I honestly don’t know what to do, then it makes me question myself!