Hi
I lost my mum to liver and lung cancer last year. She kept the severity of her illness quiet. I found out how poorly she was when a doctor took me aside during her last stay in hospital.
I am so angry that she wasn't honest and I'm fed up of being told that she was protecting me from the truth. I'm an adult in my 40s who has dealt with death and illness as part of my career and I have been through a divorce from a habitual liar who felt half truths were acceptable. She was not protecting me at all especially as she knew how much I hated lies and half truths
My Dad has become very oversensitive and snaps at me for very little reason. Mostly over my dry humour which has always been part of my personality. The jokes I told were not in poor taste. I feel I need to spend very little time with him as I cannot deal with being his whipping boy. When ever I want to relive a memory of my mum, he often claims that what I am telling is not the truth, which hurts as I am trying to share a treasured memory-warts and all. I want to forget the memories of Mum lying in a hospital bed, struggling to breathe. I want to remember the sassy woman she was.
I know everyone is hurting in my family, and I try to be supportive. But I feel there is no support coming my way, unless its to belittle. I have amazing friends, but I feel I burn them out and I don't want to be a burden
Thanks for letting me rant.