Hello Chris_83, 

I am so sorry for your loss - watching your dad suffer in those final 24 hours must have been really hard and sadly those final moments are images that can stay with you forever. I can't believe all this happened in such a short space of time, that he was diagnosed only in March. It must be a real shock for you and all his loved ones. Unfortunately, there is no easy way of dealing with grief as grief is such a personal thing involving a range of often overwhelming feelings but as you will read on our page on coping with grief, the two things that can help the most are time and support and I hope that you have some good support around you to help you get through the coming days. 

It sounds like you were really close to your dad and losing your dad who was at the same time your best friend is bound to leave you feeling angry and anger is just one of the many emotions you might feel as you are grieving the loss of a wonderful man who meant so much to you. It must be so difficult to think about all those things you won't be able to do together. Keep strong though Chris_83 and I wanted you to know that you are not alone, that many members of our community have sadly lost a parent or a loved one and will know exactly what you are going through and how you are feeling at the moment. Sometimes it is easier to talk to others here on the forum that you may not know personally than to friends or relatives because they will understand how much it hurts for you at the moment. 

I will let our members who've suffered a similar loss before come and say hello and share their story and give you some comforting words.  

We're thinking of you and your family during this difficult time. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hello Chris.  I am very sorry for your loss.  I lost both my parents many years ago.  For a long time I felt lost......it was like the ground had moved from beneath me.  What I can tell you is that eventually you will reach a place of sad acceptance about your dad.  I still miss my mum and dad, but it is no longer a raw pain.  I don't think that we ever truly 'get over' losing the people we love........somehow we just get through it.  You have every right to feel angry.  At 66 your dad was too young to die and it sounds like he was a very young and active 66.  Grief is a process and sadly, there are no short-cuts through it.  I could tell you all of the cliches, such as "you will always have your lovely memories".......but that doesn't stop the pain does it?  You were right to reach out to this Forum because so many of us here have lost loved ones to this monstrous disease, and we know how you feel, and very often, just the knowledge that there are others who have walked in our shoes makes us feel not quite so alone.  Once again Chris, so sorry for your loss.    

Thank you so much for your reply, means a lot. The first week was awful having to face people and talking about it, it’s now a little easier but dreading the funeral as it’s going to seem so final.

I’m pleased we were able to spend some quality time with him over the course of a number of months but it’s just a little consolation as we feel robbed, the same as everyone else that has lived through this horrible disease.

I feel sick when I think about going to places / do things that meant so much to us. I know he’d want us to carry on but it’s so damn hard. In time I’m sure things will become easier.

Thanks again for taking the time to reach out and sorry to hear about both your parents all those years ago. 

Take care

Chris 

You're welcome Chris.