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Lost my Dad

Sherrell
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I lost my Dad to cancer on father's day this year. Me and my husband were with him for his last few days in hospital, and held him as he took his last breath. Have bad panic attacks, which are worst at night. Thought I was getting better, but have had a big downward turn the last few days. When does life become more normal, I want to feel in control of my feelings but at the moment I definitely don't 

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    Hi Sherrell, 

    I’m so sorry for your loss, I’m going through the same right now. I was with my dad as he passed in hospital almost two weeks ago. There’s so many emotions I’m feeling right now and feel a bit lost along with being angry and guilty us being here without him. 

    I don’t have any answers for you regards to when things ease as it’s still quite raw but wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss.

    Take care

    Chris 

  • Offline in reply to Chris_83

    Right there with you, I lost my wonderful dad, my best friend in April. I get a few better days now but also some terribly difficult days hence why I’m on here this evening as it feels like a safe place. Be kind to yourself, you feel this because you love him so and always will, time will be kind to you in turn xx

  • Offline in reply to Chris_83

    Hi Chris,

    It's an absolute nightmare. Losing a parent is worst than anyone could imagine. It's not just about the fact he's gone, it's a link to your childhood and also I am who I am because of him. Just hope things someday become more normal again.

    I think being with them at the end is so important, I wouldn't change it, but it also leaves you with images etched in your mind. Hope one day they fade and I only remember the other Dad.

    I'm so sorry that you are living with this aswell. This group is a good way to put your feelings somewhere, especially when overthinking everything.

    Sending you lots of love and strength 

    Sherrell x

  • Offline in reply to MrsP18

    Thankyou for your kind words. I just want to feel normal again, not an emotional wreck. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person that has ever lost a parent and noone could possibly understand how awful I feel.

    I take comfort from you saying you have good days. Hopefully your bad days will lessen.

    Take care, sending you love

    Sherrell x

  • Offline in reply to Sherrell

    Hi Sherrell,

    So true about losing that connection to your past, with time we’ll remember those as happy memories but right now the empty feeling is overwhelming.

    I have found speaking about my dad over the last week or so easier to do without breaking down in tears every time. It’s also helped writing down my memories in readiness for his funeral.

    Although it hurts I do keep telling myself he’s no longer in pain as he wouldn’t have wanted to live like he has been the last few months. 

    I feel for my grandparents at the age of 90 who have now lost 2 sons with only their youngest left. Life just isn’t fair…

    Take care 

    Chris 

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