Hello Angry, and first of all may I offer my condolences on your terrible loss.  It is entirely natural to feel angry when we lose someone we love, and we feel that we need to blame someone.  In fact, my husband is going through exactly the same thing as you.  I am terminal, and my husband is convinced that the chemo I had is to blame for the fact that I am now dying.  He says that his biggest regret in life will always be the fact that he allowed me to have the chemo in the first place. Unfortunately, our loved ones do not always receive the care that they deserve.  Many times I have heard stories where people say that their loved ones were neglected and fobbed off, and naturally it leaves a bitter taste in the mouth.  As you say, you can not prove negligence and you would be fighting a losing battle anyway.  I am not really sure what to say to you to make you feel better.......... I can only say that you are certainly not alone in how you feel.  I truly wish you well and once again, I am so sorry for your loss and what you are now going through.   

Thank you Blue-girl for your lovely reply, reading this has made me very emotional. I am so sorry for what you and your husband are going through too. I know there are no words to help you both either, just love each other, talk about the good times and make as many memories as you can. It's all we have in the end. 

Thank you Blue-girl for your lovely reply, reading this has made me very emotional. I am so sorry for what you and your husband are going through too. I know there are no words to help you both either, just love each other, talk about the good times and make as many memories as you can. It's all we have in the end. 

Thank you so much, and yes, you are right......in the end, we have only our memories, and this is what gets us through the bad times.  Take care, xx