Hi zfree,

Welcome to Cancer Chat. I think it is lovely that you are seeking further information and help on how to best support your boyfriend.

The fact that you feel this way about him and his Mum that you didn't meet just shows how much you care about him.

When people are not outwardly keen to speak about their feelings and emotions, it can be difficult to know how to approach this. Often you can get a read from the other person on how willing they are to talk about it, when it is brought up.

I think keeping on speaking about his Mum, when appropriate, and being there to listen whenever he wants to speak about it, are good starting points. These both show that you care, that it's normal to speak about it, and that you haven't forgotten. Sometimes people need a bit more of a nudge to be able to speak about things that are difficult or that they struggle to communicate about.

I'm not sure if this will be appropriate for your boyfriend, but if it seems like he needs additional support, it might be worth signposting to Cruse. They have various resources and also a helpline - in case it is useful to speak to someone more anonymous or neutral.

Aside from this, hopefully others here will see your post and send some replies with any more thoughts.

Wishing you all the best,

Ben
Cancer Chat Moderator