Hi Kiki,

I am sorry about your loss and that it is still hurting three years, people have different timeframes regards grief and unfortunately, I find that most people aren't really equipped to offer counselling towards friends who have lost loved ones, they can offer their condolences but after awhile they tend to stay away because they can't help other than offering their condolences - I am sure they would like to help in more practical ways but what I have found is they tend to stay away because they feel helpless which doesn't help you but that's the reality of friends or lovers even.

I am sorry to hear about your dad and his girlfriend's behaviour, that is just awful and there is no excuse for either of them to behave that way. You're in a hard place with it all and there are no easy or simple solutions to any of it but I think what helped me was to focus on the future and put my thoughts of what I want out of it - the facts are my mum is never coming back into this earthly realm but I feel she is with me all the time and I talk to her often, I know she would want me to live my life and achieve things and she actually said that before she left us - there will never be a time where I forget my mother because I never will but I have to carrying on living my life because one day soon, it will be my turn to go. When my mum lost her parents, she was 6000 miles away from them and that is exactly what she did.

My (and yours...) experiences of loss and grief are nowhere near yet over, I have an 89 year old father who I will lose one day soon - with the best will in the world he hasn't got long left so I will have to deal with another loss and if you live to any length of age then you will have to deal with loss and deal grief, my dad has lost his wife, his parents and all his siblings - if you live long enough like my dad - you will lose lots of people that you love but you have you keep going until it is your turn - every single ancestor that makes you and that makes me has had to deal with grief and loss of people they loved.

I am sorry that you don't have support or anyone to talk to and I am sorry that you are feeling isolated but I am hoping that you find the path and your way onto happier times soon, take care.

Hi Kiki,

I am sorry about your loss and that it is still hurting three years, people have different timeframes regards grief and unfortunately, I find that most people aren't really equipped to offer counselling towards friends who have lost loved ones, they can offer their condolences but after awhile they tend to stay away because they can't help other than offering their condolences - I am sure they would like to help in more practical ways but what I have found is they tend to stay away because they feel helpless which doesn't help you but that's the reality of friends or lovers even.

I am sorry to hear about your dad and his girlfriend's behaviour, that is just awful and there is no excuse for either of them to behave that way. You're in a hard place with it all and there are no easy or simple solutions to any of it but I think what helped me was to focus on the future and put my thoughts of what I want out of it - the facts are my mum is never coming back into this earthly realm but I feel she is with me all the time and I talk to her often, I know she would want me to live my life and achieve things and she actually said that before she left us - there will never be a time where I forget my mother because I never will but I have to carrying on living my life because one day soon, it will be my turn to go. When my mum lost her parents, she was 6000 miles away from them and that is exactly what she did.

My (and yours...) experiences of loss and grief are nowhere near yet over, I have an 89 year old father who I will lose one day soon - with the best will in the world he hasn't got long left so I will have to deal with another loss and if you live to any length of age then you will have to deal with loss and deal grief, my dad has lost his wife, his parents and all his siblings - if you live long enough like my dad - you will lose lots of people that you love but you have you keep going until it is your turn - every single ancestor that makes you and that makes me has had to deal with grief and loss of people they loved.

I am sorry that you don't have support or anyone to talk to and I am sorry that you are feeling isolated but I am hoping that you find the path and your way onto happier times soon, take care.