Hello Joewasthebest and welcome, I am so sorry to hear about your dad and how you are suffering. What you are feeling is perfectly normal, when i lost mum who was my best friend, to lung cancer i was heartbroken, felt completely alone even with family around me, and cried all the time. Please don't feel selfish, or something is wrong because you have not come to terms with your dads passing, It's only been three days, You have to give yourself time to grieve and if you need to cry then do so as it helps with the grieving process and trying to hold in your emotions will not help. Please go tomorrow it will help. things will get better, Like you i had 3 kids, 2 girls and a boy when we lost mum, and they were so important in moving on as we have too, after all you have to bring up your dads grandchildren and tell them all about what a wonderful man he was and all the good times you had, I think your dad would like that and to know his little girl was going to be alright. It will take time, things will slowly get better, the sad memories you have now will be replaced by all the happy ones you have, and the sadness, there will always be a little in you and every once in a while there may even be a few tears, but things will be ok, take care.

Eddie

Hi Eddie

firstly thank you for replying to my post, I am not sure what I was trying to gain from writing online however I find a little comfort knowing I am not the only one that has ever felt like this. 
I am sorry to hear about the loss of your mum I am sure she would be proud how your taking the time to help others through their grief. 
At this moment in time I don’t feel as emotional as I did earlier but I am sure it will come back again. My aunt is in a local community hospital with leukemia she has learning difficulties so we are unable to tell her the extent of her condition but I found normality in visiting her today. 
as of this minute I to plan on attending the planning meeting for my dads funeral tomorrow but yesterday I didn’t feel I was even able to attend his funeral I could hardly breath with crying so much. 
I find mornings in particularly hard, my dad would text me every day to make sure I was ok, me waking up to another day without him is the  hardest. 
If I could wish anything in this world it would be a cure for this horrible disease that took my dad and your mum. 
Thanks again. 
take care