My mum was diagnosed with brain cancer (glioblastoma) when I was 26 (she was 56 years young), watching her go through radio and chemotherapy was deeply distressing. Yesterday marked 2 years since her passing. She was the most amazing mother any girl could wish for and i miss her more than anything.
Losing her has been by far the most difficult thing to go through. I feel as though i have lost my spark and I cant figure out my purpose in life. I have also been faced with my own health issues since the age of 14 - i was diagnosed with 3 agressive autoimmune disorders and secondary glaucoma.
I have been faced with one challenge after an other and im just so tired of trying to pick myself back up and stay positive. I have no job, no partner and generally been feeling empty since losing mum. I can’t seem to catch a break, at 26 my own health conditions were finally relatively stable and i was looking forward to building a life when my mum was diagnosed and my whole world crumbled. And now two years on i’m trying to navigate my way through life without her but haven’t a clue what I’m supposed to do.
I know I need to keep moving forward and make something of my life but I’m not sure where to go from here or how to figure out my purpose in life. I feel like I should have had it all figured out by now but I havent and everyone my age is settled. I'm also really struggling to accept the fact that I have to go through my whole life without mum. She should still be here she had so much to live for.
I have a undergrad degree in Psychology but im not sure thats where my passion lies anymore. I’m genereally very resiliant but lately I feel defeated, drained and recently have lost my confidence.
Ultimetly, i know what it is I want (a good career and a family of my own) but I’m not sure how to get there. I’m not even sure if it’s a good idea to start work when i have my own health conditions and no mum to support me if things go pear-shaped with my health.
Thinking about the future and going through life without mum is scary and so overwhelming, especially when youre living with your own health conditions which could flare-up at any given time.
Any advice or words of wisdom would be much apprciated.
Sending love to all.