i lost my dad to cancer in 2019 when i was freshly 18.
i have not made much progress in my grieving process, but am starting to try and figure out my feelings.
i realised a few years back that my dad left at a time in my life when i was not doing well mentally, and he will never see me if i ever thrive
hes already missed a few milestones(?) in my life, getting my first girlfriend, my first proper job, finishing college, learning to drive, and im realising ill never have my dad walk me down the aisle if i ever want to get married, i wont have him to talk to when things go wrong. i never got to have a dram with him like he promised we would do.
my dad loved my first girlfriend as we were friends beforehand and she loved him, and i know he would have been so happy for us. it hurts that i wont have the chance to introduce future girlfriends to him. he was truly a remarkable man.
the thought of having to live 60+ years without my dad feels daunting and i don't think im strong enough to do it. why do others get to keep their dads until they are in their 60s and i lost mine when i was just starting life.