Today is the 18th month anniversary when I lost my own mother to cancer, at the time I was living in China during their manic lockdown and now I am back in China.

Things are going to be OK, Berni, you will learn to live with the new reality which a lot of us learn to live with - you have to allow yourself to grieve, cry, talk to your loved ones - especially your family who are grieving also but you will recover and learn to live with the situation a lot of us have found ourselves in.

For me, my mum is still with me, still looking after me here in China, so many things have happened since her passing where I feel she is with me and she is making sure I am fine. I don't feel that she has 'gone' well, she isn't here in the way she was but she is with me in another dimension - and of course, that is what I choose to believe but I truly believe she is with me and I speak to her and ask her advice and I know what her advice would be on any given situation - the thing is - their influences, their wisdom, their love for you doesn't die - it carries on and will carry on until the end of my days.

Life is about preparing for the eventual loss of our loved ones - my dad who is 88 will one day go and probably it will be in the next ten years or so - we have to prepare mentally that we will one day eventually lose the people we love, especially parents and grandparents - I always remember my own mum when she lost her parents, she was thousand of miles away from them as she was living in the UK - she still went to work, I don't remember her grieving though she must have done in private and I am ashamed to say I don't remember saying or doing much apart from a few sympathetic platitudes - she went onto live her life and I have to do it now and take example from her about it. It is a hard and sorry business for all of us and I am hoping you find strength and that you have family and loved ones around you at this difficult time.