Lost my mummy a month ago to cancer I feel like a part of me is gone and in going insane

My beautiful mummy was diagnosed in July with liver and lung cancer she passed away on 24sep I feel so broken and lost without her I don't know how to do life without her please tell me things will be ok I'm so lost and just want her back 

  • Today is the 18th month anniversary when I lost my own mother to cancer, at the time I was living in China during their manic lockdown and now I am back in China.

    Things are going to be OK, Berni, you will learn to live with the new reality which a lot of us learn to live with - you have to allow yourself to grieve, cry, talk to your loved ones - especially your family who are grieving also but you will recover and learn to live with the situation a lot of us have found ourselves in.

    For me, my mum is still with me, still looking after me here in China, so many things have happened since her passing where I feel she is with me and she is making sure I am fine. I don't feel that she has 'gone' well, she isn't here in the way she was but she is with me in another dimension - and of course, that is what I choose to believe but I truly believe she is with me and I speak to her and ask her advice and I know what her advice would be on any given situation - the thing is - their influences, their wisdom, their love for you doesn't die - it carries on and will carry on until the end of my days.

    Life is about preparing for the eventual loss of our loved ones - my dad who is 88 will one day go and probably it will be in the next ten years or so - we have to prepare mentally that we will one day eventually lose the people we love, especially parents and grandparents - I always remember my own mum when she lost her parents, she was thousand of miles away from them as she was living in the UK - she still went to work, I don't remember her grieving though she must have done in private and I am ashamed to say I don't remember saying or doing much apart from a few sympathetic platitudes - she went onto live her life and I have to do it now and take example from her about it. It is a hard and sorry business for all of us and I am hoping you find strength and that you have family and loved ones around you at this difficult time.

  • I lost my mum two weeks ago and I'm missing my mum like crazy.  My mum had ovarian cancer for two years and she was doing really well and then suddenly she started getting fluid build up and then passed away.   As much as I knew she was ill it came as a shock to me.   I miss her little face, I miss calling her numerous times a day, I miss popping in and seeing her and making her tea.  I use to take her out in her wheelchair every weekend for coffee and suddenly my life just seems lonely and empty without her.  

    I look at her pictures and smile as I'm happy to have such amazing memories but then I can look at the same pictures an hour later and I'm filled with immense sadness that I won't have them again.

    My mum use to feed a little cat everyday where she lived and today I found out the little cat had died.   I have spent the whole afternoon crying as it just seems the end of an era with everything.

    Life is just so cruel xx