Hi everyone,
My mum passed from bowel cancer last year, I was with her day and night in the hospice until she took her last breath. Prior to her dropping into the unconscious state, she was shouting out for me all night. There’s no way I could have left her. I sat by her bed, I sang to her, held her hand, laid my head on her pillow. I felt after she passed no guilt, I was content with how I handled her death and how I looked after her.
However a year on, why do I now start getting pangs of guilt over things such as “should I have cuddled her until she died?”
“should I have spoken to her more?” Etc etc. I keep worrying I didn’t have enough physical contact, to ease her journey.
She wasn’t ready to accept her death until she was already in the dying process, she was just 57. So I was just so overwhelmed with it all, I just didn’t think at the time.
Has anyone else had this experience so much longer after it happened? It’s really upsetting me.
