I'm so sorry for your loss Djangofan and for the thoughts and feelings you've been contending with recently.

I can't begin to imagine how difficult this must be, but from what I've read in your post you went above and beyond to comfort your mum and did everything you could to make her passing more comfortable.

Many of our members who have been in a similar position will definitely understand what you're going through at the moment, so you are not alone, and hopefully some of them will be along soon to offer their support and advice.

Be kind to yourself Djangofan and remember that we will always be here to listen and support you when times get tough.

Kind regards,

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hello Djangofan, I’m really sorry to hear about your Mum. I’m also experiencing feelings of guilt, so you’re not alone. I lost my Mum to breast cancer 18 months ago. I was by her side in the hospital which I was glad of. 6 months after, I started to feel that I hadn’t done enough to comfort her in her final days. I became quite distressed that I left the lights on in her room during the night and made her final hours uncomfortable. I had  counselling which was helpful for quite some time, but unfortunately those feelings are back and I fear I won’t ever be able to forgive myself. I’ve read that guilt is a normal feeling when you’re grieving, we want to do the best for our loved ones. I hope you are able to work through these feelings in time and regain the confidence that you did your very best and did all that you could to support your Mum. 

Hello to both of you. I’m sorry to hear of your recent losses of your mums. I think what you are experiencing is a normal reaction to grief . You always wonder if there is something you could have done better . I think that you. both did whatever you could ,but that doesn’t take away the pain of losing someone.I would suggest contacting Maggie’s or Cruise for support . I wish you well x