The Reality of Loss.........How quickly Life changes.....

Hey Guys,

I guess I'm posting here to join the community, in an attempt to seek wisdom, advice and just to mourn with everyone else I guess who has gone through a loss. 

Here’s the story of my mother.

Ireland. Dublin. Mother. Non smoker and non drinker. (Baileys at Christmas). Difficulty swallowing last September October November. Doctors appointment and referral for endoscopy in January 2023….the Irish health system isn’t exactly “quick”.

End of January 2023 stage 4 tumor. Right at the stomach junction. (Eosphageal cancer) Non candidate for chemo so radiotherapy in the hope that the strength improves and symptoms dissipate.

Radiotherapy took place in March. 8 fractions. Initial results look promising. Then boom, the legs went as did everything else. My mother went to the other side on May 1st. I’ll never say I lost my mam because I didn’t . She’s still with me and will be forever.

I'm in my early 30's so I selfishly thought that my mother would at least be around for another ten years but I havnt been afforded that luxury. Does anyone have any general advice or is anyone in the same age group as myself? Thankfully I have a father, and a wife and we're strong but losing a mother is well.....losing a mother doesnt get much heavier than that.

What I will say is; for anyone in this scenario or finding themselves immersed in these circumstances, don’t you give up. There’s always hope and that’s all that matters. My mother lived a good life and I’ll carry her with me forever.

  • Welcome to Cancer Chat, HowdyFolks.

    I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. It's understandable that you had hoped for more time with her, and it can be difficult to accept that life doesn't always go as we plan. The pain of losing a loved one is profound, and the void they leave behind can feel overwhelming. Remember that it's okay to grieve and allow yourself to feel all the emotions that come with it.

    I'm glad to hear that you have the support of your father and wife during this difficult time. Surrounding yourself with loved ones can provide strength and solace. Lean on them for support, and don't hesitate to share your feelings.

    As you navigate this journey of grief, consider seeking additional support. There are organisations like Cruse that can help you deal with these feelings.

    Remember, you're not alone in this. Many here have gone through a similar experience and I hope they will be along shortly to chat with you.

    May you find healing, peace, and strength as you carry your mother's love and memory with you throughout your life.

    With my best wishes,

    Renata, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Hi Renata,

    Thank you very much for the reply and kind words, I really appreciate it. 

    I absolutely agree, and the way things have went this year couldnt have been further away from the ideas that I had in my head for 2023. It all happened and came on so quickly. Such a strange and mericless illness and hopefully some day we can really see Cancer being stopped right in its tracks and cured from all stages of detection.  

    Thank you again for the resource link and kind words it realy means a lot
    God bless