Sorry for your loss.

I know how you feel, since yesterday I can't really stop myself from crying because my dad died/passed away a year ago. I think it's better to go out and be around people it will take your mind off it, I have an addictive personality so even crying makes me scared, because I feel like for me it will become habit forming, I can feel it, I am really trying hard not to even cry secretly, somehow when I am crying secretly, my mum starts checking on my or asking to speak to me, and I shout her away, I don't want her to see me crying.

Hi Rachhh,

I'm very sorry for your loss. 

I lost my dad in November 2022, shortly after a cancer diagnosis. My dad was first diagnosed in 2020 and we were told he would be cured. Dad had two surgeries and the treatment and I really believed he would go into remission. Sadly, we found out last September that the back pain dad was experiencing was advanced cancer and we lost him two months later. 

I am 36 and my dad was a very fit and active 70 year old man. My dad is my best friend and I feel utterly lost without him. I We were so close and the void that has been left feels unbearable. I have been fortunate enough to be able to take a break from work and do not feel ready to go back yet. I still burst into tears several times a day and struggle to concentrate. I have heard some people say it has helped to be in routine though. 

I have been told by a councellor that it is healthy to feel sad and to cry. It is very early days since losing your mum and emotions must feel very raw. I hope you have support from family and friends. 

Xx

Hi I am so sorry to here that I dont know how you have coped and I am scared too my mum is going to die from cancer in a few weeks and I feel like its not real I am only 15 and I dont know how to cope.

I wish I could give you a big big hug. I know it's so scary what you're going through, you are so young

I am double your age and I was so so scared too! I wish I could say something to make it easier. I hope you have so much support  around you. 

Hi Rachhh,

Thanks for your reply. It feels particularly cruel when we have been told that there is a good prognosis. My dad had throat cancer and I remember the nurse saying he would be getting the five years clear as she would be coming up for retirement. Even when dad's cancer returned they thought it must be a new cancer as I was told it doesn't spread like that but it was the throat cancer again this makes me feel so angry, why my dad? I know cancer doesn't discriminate but it's so confusing. I think I was very naieve and always thought it wouldn't happen to us. 

I won't get over losing my dad. We were too close and he is a part of everything. Everytime I go to the shop, go for a walk it's somewhere I have been with him except now I'm alone. I have been taking it day by day and just try to get through each day even if it feels excruitating (which it still does). 

Here if you ever want to chat. I have found some solace in people who have sadly been through the same. 

It's so so difficult what scares me the most is I don't think the real grief has even hit me yet and I am expecting it to hit me any day.

I feel that my Mam is still with me everyday.

I understand that closeness I was the same with my Mam we lived together done absolutely everything with eachother it was just the two of us. 

My Mam had non Hodgkin's lymphoma it's a cancer of the blood and one of the better cancers. The prognosis was so good with this type of cancer. I feel such a sadness for her, we were all so convinced she would be ok