Hi Tanya,

I'm very sorry for the loss of your mum.

I lost my dad in November, 8 weeks after a cancer re-occurance. My dad had cancer in 2020 and we were told he was cured. He developed back pain in April and no one (including doctors) thought it was anything serious. In September after me asking him to get a scan we were told it was metestatic cancer in the bones. Dad deteriorated rapidly and my mum and I cared for him for the 8 weeks from diagnosis to him passing away. 

My situation is similar to yours. I am single with no kids and my brother lives abroad. I have always been very independent and content but the big caveat being that my dad was my world and a huge part of my happiness. We are best friends (can't bring myself to say it in a past tense) and the void that dad has left is indescribable.

People were initially supportive but now no one asks or mentions it (apart from a couple of friends). I haven't been able to go back to work yet and fortunate that I have been able to take a break to try and gather myself and to support my mum who has lost her husband of 50 years. 

I feel very isolated and alone with my grief, my brother isn't grieving in the same way as he didn't have the very close bond that dad and I had. 

I am keeping busy but I don't want to forget about my dad and want to talk about him.

You are not alone. 

X

Hi Tanya,

I'm very sorry for the loss of your mum.

I lost my dad in November, 8 weeks after a cancer re-occurance. My dad had cancer in 2020 and we were told he was cured. He developed back pain in April and no one (including doctors) thought it was anything serious. In September after me asking him to get a scan we were told it was metestatic cancer in the bones. Dad deteriorated rapidly and my mum and I cared for him for the 8 weeks from diagnosis to him passing away. 

My situation is similar to yours. I am single with no kids and my brother lives abroad. I have always been very independent and content but the big caveat being that my dad was my world and a huge part of my happiness. We are best friends (can't bring myself to say it in a past tense) and the void that dad has left is indescribable.

People were initially supportive but now no one asks or mentions it (apart from a couple of friends). I haven't been able to go back to work yet and fortunate that I have been able to take a break to try and gather myself and to support my mum who has lost her husband of 50 years. 

I feel very isolated and alone with my grief, my brother isn't grieving in the same way as he didn't have the very close bond that dad and I had. 

I am keeping busy but I don't want to forget about my dad and want to talk about him.

You are not alone. 

X

I'm so so sorry about the loss of your Dad, Lulu86. I expect you are also dealing with the rollercoaster of those last few weeks too. I'm sure your Dad was so happy to have you by his side. It's so hard when someone you love dearly and is a huge part of your entire life is no longer there. I'm glad you have some space to grieve from work and also be there for your Mum. I appreciate having siblings doesn't always mean what an only child expects. I'm starting a journal to put down my thoughts and memories of Mum so I can have a place to talk and remember. Thank you so much for your message. Sending you lots of love and strength too