Hi, ive never posted anything like this before but i don't really know how else to deal with it. I lost my mum to breast cancer at 4 years old and am now 22 turning 23 in a few weeks. I never really coped with the loss growing up as my dad was such an amazing parent but as i'm growing into an adult i feel like as every year goes by i feel worse and worse, especially watching my friends grow so close to their mums and i have just never had a prominent female figure in my life. I can't speak to my dad about it in fear of upsetting him or his new wife (nothing against them- they're amazing), but i guess i just feel no one else really understands. I just don't really know how to grieve someone i basically don't even know and feel like it just doesn't compare to people who have lost their parents later on in life. It's something that weighs on me so heavily every day and i just have no idea how to cope with it and don't know anyone else going through something like this. I feel like i lose out on not having the experience of growing up with a mother and just having that bond with a daughter/mother that nothing else compares to, especially in times i feel i just need someone that can be there for me with unconditional love to just take care of me and pass no judgement, like a 'mothers love' is supposed to be. Just seeing if there is anyone else that can relate, thanks.