Hello superbecks,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother. The questions you are asking are ones that I have asked myself since my lovely dad passed away.

My dad was a very fit and active 70 year old man, he had throat cancer in 2020 and we thought he was cured and he had come through it.

In April my dad developed back pain which we thought was sciatica. It didn't get better and on 15th September my dad had an MRI scan and we were told it showed metestatic cancer to the bones. Our world was blown apart in that very moment but I had no idea what was to come.

I moved straight back in with my parents to provide support, however, my dad quickly deteriorated after being told this news and he needed a lot of care.

There was a hospital admission in the middle of October then at the end of October he seemed to improve and he came home. We had hope once again, then less than two weeks later dad stopped eating and drinking and became confused.

The GP arranged for dad to go to hospice to sort out meds and confusion but he never came round or came home. My dad had no cancer in his organs or brain and there was nothing in his blood test to suggest a reason for the confusion. 

My dad was admitted to hospice on the Friday and didn't come round,  he passed away 3 days later. I have no idea why or how his body just shut down or why he didn't come around.  I also don't understand why my dad deteriorated so quickly after getting the news of diagnosis and how he passed away just 8 weeks later. Two months earlier we had been on holiday together and he seemed fine.

I feel guilty that I didn't know what was coming and I didn't prepear him for it and I feel guilty that I had false hope that we would have more time together. I feel so tormented by these thoughts and questions.

I love and miss my dad so much. He was my best friend and the person I love most in this world. I am lost without him and feel that he was just been taken in the blink of an eye. 

I can't offer any advice but I relate to your questions and post.

Xx

Hello superbecks,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother. The questions you are asking are ones that I have asked myself since my lovely dad passed away.

My dad was a very fit and active 70 year old man, he had throat cancer in 2020 and we thought he was cured and he had come through it.

In April my dad developed back pain which we thought was sciatica. It didn't get better and on 15th September my dad had an MRI scan and we were told it showed metestatic cancer to the bones. Our world was blown apart in that very moment but I had no idea what was to come.

I moved straight back in with my parents to provide support, however, my dad quickly deteriorated after being told this news and he needed a lot of care.

There was a hospital admission in the middle of October then at the end of October he seemed to improve and he came home. We had hope once again, then less than two weeks later dad stopped eating and drinking and became confused.

The GP arranged for dad to go to hospice to sort out meds and confusion but he never came round or came home. My dad had no cancer in his organs or brain and there was nothing in his blood test to suggest a reason for the confusion. 

My dad was admitted to hospice on the Friday and didn't come round,  he passed away 3 days later. I have no idea why or how his body just shut down or why he didn't come around.  I also don't understand why my dad deteriorated so quickly after getting the news of diagnosis and how he passed away just 8 weeks later. Two months earlier we had been on holiday together and he seemed fine.

I feel guilty that I didn't know what was coming and I didn't prepear him for it and I feel guilty that I had false hope that we would have more time together. I feel so tormented by these thoughts and questions.

I love and miss my dad so much. He was my best friend and the person I love most in this world. I am lost without him and feel that he was just been taken in the blink of an eye. 

I can't offer any advice but I relate to your questions and post.

Xx